Take Me As I Am
by PastArmyGirl32
Summary: Two best friends, thousands of miles in between and a year to go before they see one another again. A few short phone calls and an unlimited amount of letters written and received. Where will they end up when the year he is at war is finally over?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I really do not know what to say. I haven't updated this story in over a year but have continued writing it at home. A lot has changed in my life that caused this to go on the back burner. One being that my daughter was diagnosed with Autism (she's a twin) and is 4 years old. That seemed to take precedence over my writing at the time and now I have to get back to it because sometimes it is the only way I can keep my sanity (I have 3 other kiddos, too). I want to apologize to those that faved this story and never got another update. I am re-posting all chapters because I have re-written and edited this story so that I hope it is better. Please give me some feedback to let me know what you like or dislike or just to tell me to keep going or to quit :) Without further ado, Chapter 1, again!**

**We all know that I do not own Twilight or any characters referenced in said stories. I just have always liked the chemistry between all of the folks within the original story and like to play with them a bit in different situations. Also, I am ex military and if there is something further along in th story that you don't understand or something I don't explain well, please ask! Sometimes I can't help myself with military lingo. My husband still gets a tad bit pissed about it even after being out for a few years. Enjoy!**

_**January 2nd**_

Bella had never felt such a lonely existence as she did today. It was ironic really, with all of the bustling and noise that surrounded her among all of the crazy and happy travelers at Logan International. She was broken out of her thoughts when he took hold of her hand.

Edward grabbed and held onto her as tight as he could without crushing or bruising Bella. She was his lifeline and he would never let go.

This boy, this man who had turned out to be Isabella's best friend for twenty years was going to go. She knew that watching him board that airplane was going to be tough but it was the thought that he was going to meet up with two hundred other men and women eventually and that they would all be heading into what could be termed as Hell on earth was really the hardest to swallow for her.

After what felt like hours to Bella but was probably only mere minutes, Edward turned and took her by the waist tightly. She could already feel the walls that she protected herself with from everyone else but him slowly build themselves back up into place. She laid her head silently on his chest and said a prayer to whatever God would listen that this would not be the last time she would ever see Edward alive or truly whole.

It was all Edward could do not to whisk her away so that she did not have to deal with all of his bullshit. He was not naive enough to believe that he would come through this deployment unscathed, whether it be mentally or heaven forbid, a physical change for him.

The two of them had been together through all of their firsts. He was there when no one else was. Edward saw the first time that Bella realized that she was too uncoordinated to be athletic, he was there for her first period, she was there to teach him how to kiss and to treat girls with respect, her first true kiss, her first heartbreak and losing their virginity. He was there for other terrible things in Bella's life as well that he would not wish on his worst enemy. They tried to remember the good things like high school and college graduations, the things in life that no one could physically take away from you.

Their peculiar friendship did not end with these life milestones. They grew and led them to where they were this very moment. Remembering Edward's decision to join the Army, Bella reflected on how devastated she was when he said he had to leave for eight weeks the summer before their senior year. She remembered it was tremendously worse when he was gone the entire summer before they started college. She would never admit it to him, but she was always so scared that he would leave as her best friend but return wanting nothing to do with the girl from next door. So afraid of being alone and lost in her thoughts, she did not realize that Edward's stare was utterly focused in on her.

He cleared his mind and his throat, "So, this looks like as good of place as any to sit and waste the day away," he said as he started to unload his gear.

Bella snapped out of it only to realize that he had already sat down in the two seats furthest from where his flight would be boarding. For that she was thankful.

She couldn't shake that gut feeling that something was going to happen. They continued to sit in silence while she dwelled on the fact that she did not know what she would do if something terrible occurred while Edward was overseas. She couldn't stomach the thought of living a day without her best friend and quickly grabbed a hold of his hand to desperately hang onto.

Edward was sulking in his seat as well but with different thoughts racing through his head. He was scared. He was proud but he was worried for Bella more than he was for himself. He knew for a fact that he was the only one to know the "true" Isabella Swan. Edward was the only one who knew why she ran on a daily basis and it sure as hell was not for the cardiovascular benefits. That was for damn sure. He also knew why she had to study her ass off all of the time just so she could keep her full scholarship and her parents would not have to take out a third and fourth mortgage to pay for her education.

Edward unfortunately or fortunately also knew the truth to why she swore off dating a little over a year ago.

Bella shook off the morose feeling that had enveloped her and decided it was time to cheer her boy up.

"Make sure you don't drop your soap! We know how lonely you boys will get without a little something to dip your willies into," she playfully said to him as she squeezed his hand tighter.

Edward gently swatted her shoulder and sweetly replied, "Bellie, by the end of this year I may be one of those boys who enjoys a little soap dropping. Why do you think I didn't end up buying the one with a rope?"

Bella made a look of feigned shock as he continued on, "I have you know Ms. Isabella Marie Swan, that there are many women currently serving in the United States Army and while some may believe certain things about these women, please let me explain that these so called gender preferences are just not all true."

He playfully raised his eyebrows up and down while he proceeded to finish his spiel regarding the sexual orientation of female soldiers, "If you know what I mean."

Edward was wrong on so many levels and he knew it. He had always been a ladies' man and always would be no matter where he was. He lived the life of a playboy, but secretly Bella knew he didn't "play" as often as his other friends thought he did. To him it was just a stereotype that he carried around and found it easier not to drop. Those who needed to know how he was knew and the others, well it didn't really matter what they thought of him in his mind.

Bella remembered the night that Edward told her, "This is college, Bellie. I don't care what half these dumb jackasses think of me anyway. The only opinion that matters to me is yours. Now get your stinky assed feet off of me so I can go grab us a beer!"

He was such an ass when he wanted to be, Bella thought. At the time, she had worked a double shift at a little hole in the wall burger joint and they had decided to spend the night in while she nursed her so called "stinky assed feet".

She was lost again as Edward began humming his favorite song, "Touch of Grey" by the Dead. There was always a comfortable silence between the two of them that they at times could sit together and not talk for hours and be content in just the companionship. Well, that was until he usually started pelting her with spit balls or something of that nature. She decided to take the time to really study Edward's features and commit them to memory. He was gorgeous, first off and that was painfully obvious to any onlooker. He had deep, almost forest green eyes, crazy ass colored hair that bore no description other than his own. Bella could truthfully say she had never seen anyone else's head of hair except on his grandmother and a body, a body that would make Adonis hang his head in shame. She always loved the fact that Edward never took himself or his looks seriously. She could ogle him for days and he would never notice or he did and he just didn't give a damn. He was more than that, though. He was a well educated, sensitive and loving man to his family and friends.

Edward had just never found the right girl for him. Bella could not think of any other examples better than his failed relationships with Kate, Tanya and Maggie. To her it never seemed anything that he did, maybe she was little bit bias, but it was always something though. With Tanya the sex was good but she technically had more boobs than brains. Kate was better in the brains department, but the sexual chemistry was not there and Maggie completely changed and went bat shit crazy on him six months into their relationship. Edward finally had to get a restraining order out on her and her crazy ass family. He always said when it didn't feel right then it wasn't meant to be and he was too nice to lead them on just to get laid and waste their time.

As time ticked on at a more steady pace then both friends wanted, the silence, for the first time in their friendship, began to wear both of them down. Bella was fidgeting in her seat like a 3 year old child and Edward couldn't find anything to look at other than her. Throughout the silence between them and the blaring noises of the airport and its inhabitants, they held tight to one another. They grasped onto each other out of fear, out of love and out of the future. At that point neither of them could have known what their futures would hold with and without one another.

Finally after what seemed like forever and no time at all, Edward's flight was called. Bella thought if she ignored it then it wouldn't be happening, while all the while he rose slowly from his seat, straightening his uniform and grabbing his gear. When Bella finally stood and looked him in the eyes, Edward sighed and whispered, "Oh Bella, sweetie, please don't cry."

He grabbed a hold of her hand again and Bella realized she was going to have to look at the man that she loved as much or more than some of her own flesh and blood just to bid him farewell. The tears began to fall shamelessly and Edward spoke again, "Just think, it's a short year and then I'll be back to drive you flipping crazy again."

Edward smiled and gradually let Bella go to grab his duffel and ruck that he had laid back down while he held onto his lifeline. He finally turned and made his way down the long tarmac and turned back to Bella to wave with a small, sad smile on his face. He wouldn't dare let her see him upset about this because it would just make her worry more. Unfortunately, Edward knew how much of a worrier she was in even the most normal of circumstances.

His parents, Dr. Carlisle and Esme Cullen had been on a civilian mission to Africa somewhere. They had flown in a month ago and spent two weeks with Edward saying goodbye to him. Bella knew he thought it would be easier leaving today without them present but she also had known that she could not let him leave without some type of moral support by his side. That would be the reason that she was currently standing in the middle of a packed airport getting ready to bawl her eyes out instead of back at the apartment getting ready for her semester of classes to begin.

Edward continued walking the length of the airport willing himself not to turn and search out Bella amongst the growing crowd. Leaving her was a lot harder than he ever thought it would be. In his mind, Edward knew that this was the longest time he had ever been away from his best friend but he also knew in his heart that he would see her again soon. He had figured that his parents not being there at the airport with him would help him get through this impending departure tear free. He truly could not stand to see his mother cry and when she did it turned him back into a small child again who cried quite freely and not the man on that he was on his way to war that had been taught not to cry. As soon as he had seen Bella's eyes start to brim with unshed tears, Edward thought he was going to lose it right then and there. He shook himself from the too recent memory. Bella was his best friend, his rock and there she stood devastated by a decision he had made for himself several years prior.

When Edward had decided to join the Army he did it for himself. He could admit that it was a selfish decision. It really upset his mom and dad for awhile and Bella could not even face him without getting upset and running off to be on her own. The nation was at war already and Edward just needed to feel like he could and would make a difference somehow. He always had everything he wanted and needed, he was not technically spoiled but he was not far from it either. Joining the military seemed like a great idea at the time for him and becoming a medic was an even better choice because Edward had planned on following in his philanthropic father's footsteps into medicine. He had wanted to attend med school and join his dad's practice, a fact that he had known about himself for years.

After spending years on Reserve status, Edward would have bet his life on the fact that he would never be deployed anywhere. With such a short time left on his initial contract, he was almost guaranteed not to go anywhere.

Almost, he thought.

Edward had definitely been wrong on that assumption as he looked around at where he was currently standing.

His thoughts drifted back to the look on Bella's face as he had waved to her one final time. If he could take the pain away from her he would. Edward had tried to make her feel better by calling her by the nickname he had given Bella when she was 7 and he was just 10 years old but apparently that did not take away the pain that he saw in her eyes as he had walked away from her and waved one last time before boarding the God forsaken plane.

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**Thanks again for reading and please let me know what you think. **

**Jen**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and upcoming New Year's! I know this chapter is short but hopefully I'll get the next one up within the hour. The girls are asleep and the boys are gone. You will begin to notice the date changes at the top. As we move along they will become more important. This is the same day that we left them at the airport.**_

_**We know who owns Twilight and it's definitely not me. **_

**CHAPTER 2**

Bella had just moved into the neighborhood with her parents, Charlie and Rene . Charlie Swan had come to their small town Forks on the outskirts of Port Angeles, Washington to become the Police Chief there. Rene was a stay at home mom at the time with too much time on her hands since Bella was now in school. Edward really didn't know what to think of the big brown eyed girl next door at first, but when he sent an errant baseball into the back window of her house one afternoon, he soon realized that he was doomed. Bella hid behind her huge mane of hair when she brought the ball over to Edward's side of the fence and introduced herself. Edward remembered the scrawny little second grader stating so perfectly, "My name is Isabella Marie Swan and to what do I owe the pleasure of you knocking out our window with your stupid baseball?"

Edward chuckled at the memory as he stood in line to board his plane. Little did he know that Bella had not left yet and was huddled in the corner torturing herself by watching her best friend leave her side. He continued to kill time by remembering her calling him an idiot that very same day because all he could do was stand and gape at her with her fuzzy hair as big as the house and her little hand on her hip. He had started 5th grade that year and Bella still claims to that day that Edward was lying because she does not remember stomping off back towards her house.

Bella sat in her corner thinking about the man in front of her. They were so young when they first met and she did not remember life without him around. She struggled to imagine her upcoming days without Edward but she knew she had to. It was then that she decided she needed to leave before she ran to Edward and begged him not to go. Bella had even concocted a plan that revolved around breaking Edward's leg so he would not be considered AWOL. Edward continued with his happy thoughts of his past while Bella tortured herself with thoughts of their uncertain futures.

Bella was feisty all those years ago but Edward soon realized that he was the only one that she acted that way with. From that fateful day on, the two friends were inseparable. Their parents had tried to limit the time that they spent with one another especially as they got older. The parents were mutually concerned that there was more to Edward and Bella's friendship. The two of them just snuck around anyway.

Edward thought to himself that he could understand Bella's parents concern. She was beautiful. She had no idea how gorgeous of a woman that she had grown into. Bella's hair was still long and dark brown, but it had lost the frizziness of her long ago youth. Edward had never seen eyes on another woman that you could frighteningly get so lost in, dark chocolate eyes that now seemed to fit her features as she had grown up from a frizzy headed, scrawny little girl into a beautiful woman. Bella would never understand how many looks she received from passing men. She honestly just didn't see herself that way. Bella had been on plenty of dates but had her heart and soul brutally broken and who knew when she would ever begin to date again.

Edward swore to himself that if he ever saw that prick again that he would fucking kill him out right with no questions asked. No one knew what James had done to her except for Edward and that's the way Bella wanted to keep it. He tried to get her to go to the cops that night that he found her slumped in the car outside of his place. Bella's skirt and shirt shredded into two but she would not hear of it. She never told Edward everything that had happened to her that night. Bella did not have to because Edward knew and understood the implication of the whole scene that had laid out in front of him. Edward had found him out at a bar two nights later, he said it was pure luck but Bella knew he had been out looking for him. That fight had landed the asshole in the hospital and Edward's dad coming to Port Angeles to get Edward out of the trouble that he had found himself in. Her dad never understood why Edward "would kick such a nice guy's ass so terribly,". Edward knew deep down that if he had told her father why he would have personally killed the SOB and Bella would never have spoken to Edward again.

Edward gently shook himself from his past when the ticket attendant mentioned him needing to hurry up and that he was officially holding up the line. He thoughtfully took one more look around the busy airport and proceeded to board the small plane that he was to fly on first.

Edward knew how bad it was going to be sitting in an airplane full of civilians while he was in uniform. The Army had recently lifted the ban of travelling in his uniform and not his civies so currently he was internally cursing them for doing so. He had to fly out to California to meet up with the rest of the soldiers that would make up his unit that Edward would eventually go overseas with. He did not know anyone personally that he would be stationed with but from he had heard, all of them had been cherry picked for their skills. This was nothing new for the Army to do and you got to know people pretty quickly in these delicate type of situations.

Edward internally groaned as he stowed his ruck and took his seat. He quickly learned that civilians tend to feel sorry for you when they realize that you are walking face first, knowingly into what could be categorized as Hell. As the "Thank You's" and the occasional "God Bless" ceased, he had his Ipod on and scrolled to the playlist titled "Bella" and drifted off to sleep for a bit while he still could.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Well, kiddos are all still busy so I was able to get this one up quickly. Like I have said before, I am still a few chapters ahead in writing so pending no disasters at my home or with the computer, I should be able to update quite frequently. The dates are becoming more important to where the characters are in the story. **_

_**Again, I don't own this but I wish I did. **_

**CHAPTER 3: **

**January 16**

It had been two full weeks since Bella had dropped Edward off at the airport. He had said he had four weeks of pre-deployment activities, as Edward referred to it, in California somewhere. Whatever the hell that means, Bella thought to herself. She could never figure out how much more Edward needed to learn. He had been in the Army for 5 years now and Bella believed him to be perfect and knowledgeable at what he did. She figured, honestly, that he should know what to do by now but that's why she figured she wasn't in charge of the Army herself. Edward had explained to her that his 12 months of deployment time would not begin until his boots hit the ground in Kuwait. After that he was not able to tell Bella where he was headed to next due to OPSEC or something like that. He actually had to spell it out to her because the Army and their acronyms were pretty damn confusing to most "civilians". Edward always found Bella's ranting regarding this so damn humorous.

"I mean really, why can't you just say Operation…Security, it's much easier to say and to understand," she would always grumble. Edward would just sit and shake his head at her outright, illogical argument.

Going back to school had really helped Bella with the loneliness she had been feeling during Edward's absence from her life. She had finally been able to save enough money to move into a small apartment off campus which was ultimately keeping her busy as well. She thought to herself as she sat on her floor that it may not be as grand as Edward's place but a studio was all she needed for just her and hell, really it was just an actual place she could call her very own. She had even been able to install some shelving into her bedroom slash living room for all of her books. Bella smiled when she realized that it was starting to feel a little like home, her home. She knew Edward would give her shit when he got back home because she took the apartment based on the kitchen and the price of rent. She would definitely use the kitchen more than anything else.

Making friends at school had seemed easier this time around for Bella as well. She had never noticed before how many people that she had closed herself off to because spending all of her time with Edward was more important to her. Not that being that way was a bad thing but she was definitely excited about incorporating all of her newfound friendships into her friendship with Edward. He had always been able to do it and now it was Bella's turn to try. She liked to think that they would all be able to get along well.

Bella met a girl named Alice Brandon the Thursday night before and that had definitely turned out to be an enlightening experience. After the two women had talked for about an hour after an intense study session, Alice was able to weaken Bella's resolve and had eventually talked her into meeting her and her friend Rose for coffee the next week. Lucky for Bella, it was only right down the block from her place. She was ashamed to say that after her long conversation with Alice at the library, Bella was ready to go home for a nap. It was not that she did not enjoy the talk but Alice had energy for days on end. She prayed that Rose was able to even Ms. Brandon out personality wise because Bella would be sleeping for a week after their coffee date.

Edward was on her mind constantly and Bella realized that she really missed having him around all of the time. Even if it was for her own selfish reasons, movie nights at his old place, midday runs for Bella's sexual frustrations or 6 am coffee breaks after a late night of studying, Bella just could not help feeling a little "off" without Edward there. She was thinking that it was going to be a terribly long year.

**JANUARY 28, 2009**

Edward could not help the thoughts that were whipping through his mind like wild fire. In just two short days he would be boarding a plane again and heading to a location that he may never return from.

It was one of the most fucked up thoughts that had every crossed his mind. He couldn't help but to think about how three months ago his biggest concern was what type of beer to pick out for Bella on one of their many movie nights in. What had happened to his life?

When he had arrived at the Army base in California, he knew no one. The place was practically a ghost town in its own right. Edward had to admit that the training he had been receiving was pretty fucking fun and cool as one young soldier had said it. He could now speak general Arabic and cuss you up one side and down the other in his new language. Edward agreed with that young soldier that the instructors who were actually nationals, were quite damn "cool".

The smartest thing he ever did was get in good with those instructors. He bought them a couple of beers and then BAM! He could cuss in Arabic. There had also been another upside to this deployment and that was because Edward had met two decent guys who were also medics like he was. He also believed that they would truly take a bullet for him to save his life.

All three of them had hit it off well and he couldn't help thinking about what Bella would think of them. They were both from the mid western part of Washington state but were moved out to Massachusetts for school and had all been discussing at length what they could get into when they first returned home in a year. Edward kept telling himself that he would be home in a year. Just one year.

**FEBRUARY 7, 2009**

Bella was having a difficult time studying at the moment and it was proving to be a terrible feat for her. She knew she needed to do it that night because she had a huge exam in her Women's Lit class on Friday and in her mind there was no more time to be putting that shit off. That feeling coupled with not hearing from Edward since he was supposed to have been on the ground in Kuwait a week ago. It was all definitely wearing on her already thin nerves.

Bella picked up the phone getting ready to dial Alice and a strange looking number popped up as an incoming call.

"Huh, what kind of fucking number is that," she said out loud as she was getting ready to decline the call.

Before Bella could press end and send the call to voicemail she just about dropped the phone. "Fuck it's got to be Edward," she yelled as it all came to her about why the number looked so strange.

Out of urgency since she had stupidly let it ring so long that Edward was probably about to hang up, Bella answered with a breathy "Hello?"

It took a second but Bella's favorite melodic, velvet tinged voice sounded over the line.

"Bellaaaaa? I hope I didn't interrupt anything too important. Maybe a little, quite possibly, relief for pent up sexual frustration?" Edward chuckled.

"Oh God, No! You know I only do that with you here." Bella said this and quickly thought about how horrible that sounded out loud. "I mean with my running, of course." She had tried to cover it up. Her face was blazing by that point and she was not sure what the hell for because she didn't normally blush when talking to Edward on the phone.

Edward started laughing and Bella realized that this was exactly what she had needed, just to hear her best friend's voice. Edward proceeded to explain to her that they were in fact in Kuwait but that they were flying out the next day to where he would be for the next year. He told her that he couldn't talk long and that he would write to her as soon as he got there so that Bella would have his APO address.

All she could think was the Army and their damn acronyms again.

The two friends quickly said their " I miss you's" and "Goodbye's". Bella sat momentarily silent and then proceeded to open her uninteresting books again. Instead of her head being filled with feminist literature at its best, it was filled with extreme worry.

**FEBRUARY 13, 2009**

Edward was ecstatic that he had gotten to talk to his parents and Bella a week ago but to him it was not enough. He missed them so damn much. For him, it hurt to even think about it and that was not a good thought process for where he was at during that given point. Most of the soldiers he was now stationed with had spouses and children, even the younger ones. He may not have had that but he did put a picture of Bella and him in his Kevlar helmet like they did with their family photos.

It had just felt like the right thing to do for him.

Bella was who he missed most outside of his parents and that picture made Edward feel a little closer to her somehow. He would never tell her about it, he thought he might when he finally got back home.

Maybe.

The picture itself was nothing spectacular, it was just Edward and Bella goofing around in one of those stupid photo booths at the mall. They both had rough days that day and had decided to hang out at the mall to watch and mostly make fun of people like they had when they were younger. Bella really looked beautiful in that picture. She did not think so but Edward did.

Bella didn't have a lot of makeup on which was always a plus for her but it was just the look of pure joy in her eyes that the camera had caught unexpectedly in that shot. Edward looked like a caged loon, of course he thought. He had worn a beanie all day and his longer hair was all crazy, but he had leaned over to kiss her temple and they had both looked so happy at the time. It was such an intimate move for him but one that he was more than comfortable doing to Bella. Edward had always known Bella was special but that picture really showed it.

Edward and his men were on their FOB currently and were almost completely settled in. The unit that they were replacing would be leaving in a week, so at that time Edward's group would be quite literally running the show and command. He was actually looking forward to this because maybe he would have something else to do other than having their Commanding Officer blowing smoke up his ass.

The location honestly wasn't too bad, he thought, as he looked around his home for the next year. It could have definitely have been worse. The hospital set up was hi-tech and if you could pretend hard and long enough you just might believe that you were working in a bricks and mortar civilian hospital state side in a Podunk town, not in the middle of the desert somewhere.

He took a seat on his bunk after chow, which to Edward had been surprisingly good. The chow, not so much his bunk. Their base had contracted Nationals to cook for them and thankfully they could really lay out a nice spread for field chow. He didn't think any of them would be going hungry soon around there. He took to lying in his bunk getting ready to write his first letter since he had arrived and that was for Bella.

Edward drew a blank.

After 15 years of friendship, Edward did not know what to say to Bella to keep her from worrying her pretty little head off about him.

_**I hope this is going okay and I would love for you to let me know if you like it or even if you don't. I do not mind help but please don't be mean :) Not above begging for reviews at this point!**_

_**Jen**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Kids are calm for the most part and awaiting the brutal cold that's coming to KY in the near future (tonight). Figured I would get this uploaded. I hope you all are enjoying this and I would love for you to actually let me know if you are or are not! Seriously, tell me if you don't like it so that way I can look at how I'm writing and grow from it. All mistakes are mine and only mine. I apologize. **

**We know who owns it and we know it is not me. Thanks again for reading! **

CHAPTER 4:

**FEBRUARY 19, 2009**

Bella was frustrated.

Really frustrated.

To beat all, it had felt like forever since she had heard from Edward. Every minute that passed she worried and worried more about his health. Frequently she had daydreamed about inflicting pain on him for making her wait for so long to hear from him again. Edward had promised her a letter but she was beginning to feel like a very impatient child waiting on it. More like a very impatient child at Christmas, to be exact.

No more cliche' words had been spoken but they were oh so true in her eyes.

To her, Edward's damn letter could not get there quick enough. She had known that she would miss him but Bella had never realized that it would tear her apart from the inside out like it had been the past few days.

That day Bella was having a hard time getting through her classes. Everything that was said or written would not take root in her riotous brain. It was like long, drawn out, water torture to sit through. Not that she knew what that actually felt like, but hell she knew it had to be horrible. The icing on the cake of her shitty day had to be when Mike Newton asked her out for the 20th time that semester and it had only just begun.

Bella would maybe even say that Mike was a decent enough guy to a degree, he just was NOT her type.

Not that she even knew what her type was anymore but seriously, he was not it.

Mike was your typical, All American Frat boy and that in and of itself just annoyed the shit out of her. Then add to it that his blonde hair stuck up like an ocean wave to the front with crazy ass spikes all over, something like that she had not seen done in years. Bella reflected on the fact that there was no chance in hell that you could even run your fingers through a stiff mess of shit like that even if the feeling to do so had come over her.

She was in such a mood when she arrived home that Bella almost did not check the mail. The mailbox that she had been religiously standing beside since Edward had told her he would write. The mailman had even learned her name and regretted the day that he had spoken to Bella the first time.

She figured since she was currently only receiving bills and junk, she did not want to look at another bill on top of everything else that was going on in her life. Today was just like any other day inside her mailbox except for one letter that was addressed to "Isabella M. Swan" in the neatest, most beautiful handwriting that she had ever seen. Bella had always said that her best friend had been born as an adult of the 19th Century. He had always been equipped with incredible handwriting that put her chicken scratch to shame and of course she was supposedly the girl in their friendship that should have the beautiful handwriting.

Bella tripped over herself after she began running into her small apartment at full speed and even that didn't entirely piss her off this time around or begin to throw her off her step one bit.

That first step into the apartment was always reaching up to grab her out of nowhere. Damn step or in reality little blip of a raised spot on the floor, she always thought, it knew just how clumsy she could be. She knew the letter was from Edward before she could even take a look at the APO address on the front. Bella fell into her favorite old worn out, velour chair and ripped it open.

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**_13Feb2009_**

**_ 1800 Hours_**

**_Bella,_**

**_Don't be angry with me for taking so long to get this to you. We are finally settled in as much as can be expected over here. It is definitely very different than home. The most striking difference is there are very few trees growing and an ungodly amount of sand that gets into everything. And I mean absolutely everything! I have to say that I miss the God awful weather of MA and WA because it sure as hell beats this place._**

**_I've met a couple of guys that I've been hanging out with. (Okay, does that make me sound like I need the soap dropped, or what?) I never realized how important it would be to have a couple of people that you were close to and could completely trust with your life over here. I've always had you to talk to, but there's no way in hell that I ever want you to have to ever do anything like this. I actually think that you'd really like them. _**

**_McCarty and Whitlock are both medics like I am but they look more like Mutt and Jeff. Whitlock or Jasper, which is his first name, is a philosophy and history major back home. I honestly can't believe we've never met him on campus anywhere or especially out at a bar or something. He apparently hangs out at some of the dives we venture into. And McCarty, Emmett is a P.E. teacher at one of the elementary schools in Framingham. It really fits him since he's an overgrown kid himself. He's really a big guy and you'd think the kids in his class would be terrified of him at first sight. I sure as hell was._**

**_Sorry this is such a short letter, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm alive and well for now. I know how you'd worry yourself to death over where I am and if I'm safe (Don't make faces, you know that is how you are and what you were getting ready to do). I haven't had to do much as of now, so I've picked up running again. I miss my running partner terribly and need her back soon. If you could let her know to keep her ass in shape while I'm away that would be highly appreciated by me. Tell your parents that I said "hi" and that your dad could be really useful over here if he wanted to join up. Just kidding, your mom would so kill me. Miss you way too much to be healthy._**

**_Edward_**

**_P.S. Happy Valentine's Day! I wish we could have had our Anti-Love drunk fest again this year. It's one of my fondest memories of college with my consistently single best friend._**

* * *

**FEBRUARY 20, 2009**

Bella felt so much better after receiving Edward's letter the day before. She figured he did really know how much she had been worrying about him, unbeknownst to her of course. He always knew what she was feeling before she did and that tended to annoy the shit out of her but at this point she could have cared less about the know it all brat Edward could be. That elephant weight that had unceremoniously been placed and sitting on her chest for the past few weeks had finally been removed. Bella had never had a panic attack, but she was damn sure if she had to have waited anymore time for that letter to arrive that she would have had one.

A big one.

Before Bella could write Edward back, Alice and Rose had called to see if she wanted to join them for a drink. The three of them had hit it off pretty well the first time they had gone to grab a coffee. She really didn't know what to think about them at first since she had never had a lot of close girlfriends.

Actually, she had none at all.

Rose was quite calm compared to Alice and was able to even them out rather well. She had a filthy mouth and quick tongue but only to those she deemed deserving which most of the time she was spot on with. Both women were beautiful in their own rights and Bella, for the life of her, couldn't figure out why they weren't dating anyone.

Rose had claimed she could not find a man to put up with her love and knowledge of cars because it generally surpassed their own and embarrassed them , plus her true love affair was with clothes and she could not help the time she spent blossoming that relationship, she had explained. Bella believed she was a true force of nature and it would take someone really special to be her match. Alice kept cryptically saying the right man was coming for her soon. Bella didn't know really what in the hell she was talking about and chalked it up to Alice being somewhat crazy or to be nice about it being one of her idiosyncrasies, so she just rolled with it. The three girls went out for a couple of hours to the pub about a block from Bella's apartment. When she arrived back home she went straight to bed and fell into an actual peaceful sleep.

Now it was exactly 6 am and Bella was currently settled into the small kitchen table with her stout coffee, notebook and pen getting ready to write Edward back.

**FEBRUARY 28**

Edward would be the first to admit that it had been difficult there during the past 3 weeks of having his boots on ground. He had taken a ton of pictures to send home to his family and Bella. He had hoped they would enjoy seeing them but he wasn't sure if they needed the reminder of where he was or not. Edward's concern was that it would cause them to worry more, especially Bella, more than she already did, honestly.

He tried to get as many shots of the scenery as he could. He had thought that his mom would like all of the Biblical locations that he had seen while flying over head. They had a group of pilots with them, so they were able to take the heli's over to the other surrounding base camps instead of taking so many chances driving through some of the towns. Edward excitedly agreed that it was much safer to travel this way, at least most of the time.

He had just gotten back to his makeshift room after chow when he heard someone yelling "Cull" from outside. Edward did not know how to feel about the new nickname but he knew most of these people could not pronounce his last name correctly, Cull-en. Not hard.

After grumbling and cussing under his breath he ambled out of the hooch and realized it was one of the post guys and there was a letter for him. Edward understood that most normal people sent emails and made phone calls to their loved ones but where they were located the internet connection and access were never guaranteed and nor was the phone that you could call home on. So for he and Bella, it was just going to be a little bit easier to use snail mail and a hand written letter or so Edward had thought.

He knew whose messy assed script covered the envelope he was holding. He quickly told the soldier "Thank You" and headed off for the solace and privacy that only his bunk could provide.

* * *

**_ February 20_**

**_ No fracking clue_**

**_Eddie Boy,_**

**_It was really good hearing from you. Finally, I might add. I'm glad you're somewhat safe and settled in. You'd be proud of me because I've actually made a couple of new girlfriends in your absence! I think you would fall in LOVE with them, too, Playboy! Just kidding with you. I know you would like hanging out with them, though. They'll be a great addition to our bar nights._**

**_Alice has enough energy to keep the earth spinning on it's axis. She's a pixie of a girl (she's really short, like 5 feet even kind of short). Then there's Rose, the epitome of every man's fantasy. She's a voluptuous blonde headed bombshell that is about 5 foot 10. She's as beautiful as they come on the outside but she has the foulest mouth I've ever seen or heard. She could put you to shame with the way and the amount of times she uses the word Fuck. Rose actually has a degree in Mechanical Engineering and the shop she runs is listed under her brother's name. Apparently she didn't think it would get the business it deserved if some self serving, egotistical man let it out that it was a woman who was working there the majority of the time. She's a piece of work, definitely._**

**_So, Happy Anti-Love Day to you, too. It wasn't the same and I only had a couple of drinks with the girls before I headed home for the night. It was really lonely without having you there. The girls didn't understand my aversion to anything Valentine's Day related and I really, I mean really, got tired of having to explain. _**

**_I really miss you, though. I thought I should tell you that. Oh and Rose wanted me to tell you to be safe and I quote, "to keep your head and ass down" and "to always keep a finger on the trigger". Apparently her dad is an ex-Marine or something like that. I miss and love you. Write back soon or I'll hunt you down myself to hurt you. Dad wanted me to tell you that they are very proud of you and the man you've become. (I figured those were mom's words because they're just a tad too over the top for the old man)_**

**_Bella_**


	5. Chapter 5

**Well I'm back with another chapter. I am happy to see that some people are reading and adding this story to their favorites. I would love to tell you "Thanks!". I would like to know what you think, as well, but if not that is okay, too :) I hope to continue updating as often as I can but I'm sure that things will slow after awhile once I catch up with what I have already pre-written. Thanks again for reading! (Also, please keep paying attention to dates so that you know where we are in the deployment time period)**

**Again, I do not own Twilight and said characters because we all know who actually does. **

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CHAPTER 5:

**MARCH 4****TH**

Edward had been too busy for the past week to even think about responding to Bella's letter. It had been crazy.

Fucking, A 1 A, crazy.

Right when you would let yourself think that everything was in fact okay about being in the middle of a war zone, it quickly went to shit. Early on during his time Edward had learned this lesson the hard way. Everything in and involving a war zone eventually and quickly went to total shit.

All week they had been battling these fuckers and he could not help but to think of them as the silent enemy. He realized you could never see where they were but Edward's Company had always seemed to be fired upon in their camp continuously. Every hour upon the hour the tones and alarms would blare throughout the speakers throwing his group into a cautionary panic. At first the bastards were missing them very badly but as yesterday had come to a close, Edward's camp was actually hit.

Hard.

As a medic, Edward's main concern was to make sure that their soldiers got the care in the field that they needed to receive as to ensure the injured made it to the hospital breathing, if at all possible. Soldiers were happy to see the medics out on the battlefield. It had been that way all throughout history. In the wars from their grandparent's years, the medics were soldiers who were not to be shot at or aimed for but quickly the soldiers then realized that their enemies were not following by that code of conduct as plenty of their medical staff died trying to get the wounded men out of the way. Edward and his unit were getting used to the enemy missing their camp, but what were you to do when they bombed your very own hospital?

Unfortunately, they had to figure that out for themselves the day before. Thankfully no one had been seriously injured as the part of the hospital that housed some of their supplies took the brunt of the attack. There had been some small wounds but nothing to get them too concerned over. Those that had been wounded were sent back on duty later in the evening with a band-aid and a gung ho "Rub some dirt on it, soldier" sent their ways.

So when Edward got back to his bunk after his shift of keeping their bombed area locked down, he was pleasantly surprised to have the time and more specifically energy to respond to Bella's last letter. He knew he couldn't go to bed without writing her back with the thought that was now lingering in the forefront of his mind.

What if something had happened to him during this attack? Edward vowed never again to wait so long to write a response back to her.

Never again.

**MARCH 10**

Bella knew she was overreacting but the term "beginning to worry" did not even halfway explain how she was feeling regarding not hearing from Edward for so long. Anxiety was practically rolling off of her in waves. She had never been much of an anxious person, well to her she had never been that bad off to where Bella felt she actually needed to visit the campus doctor to get some good drugs to keep her from having these damned panic attacks. She thought back and figured she had just become this way over the past couple of months. Bella did not think it was the new school semester or its courses that were causing her the anguish, but it probably had something and everything to do with Edward's current situation. All she could do was create different scenarios of his fate in her mind. Where was he now? Was he getting enough to eat? What if someone snuck in and killed him in his sleep? What if he was bit by one of those crazy looking spiders in the pictures he had sent them and died?

Crazy shit.

Bella's thoughts just got worse from there. It was possible one of them even included killer camels wearing clown suits.

Alice had bought Bella a gift of sorts because her anxiety had gotten so bad. Everyone seemed to have differing opinions about what they thought was causing her anxiousness. Alice had purchased Bella a new battery operated buddy or "Bob" as she so lovingly referred to it. Bella had to admit that it was pretty, as strange as she thought that statement sounded.

She had not been thinking about the buildup in her girly bits since worrying about Edward's safety took over practically every thought that entered Bella's mind recently. Especially those killer camels.

Alice just thought Bella needed to get off and her anxious behaviors would disappear. She had to admit it was a decent enough theory. Hell, Rose had even set her up with one of the pretty boys at her shop. She thought Bella just needed a date. Bella could only just wish she could explain to them about what was really bothering her but how could she do that if she didn't fully understand the issues at hand all by herself?

The date with Royce the pretty boy, grease ball, was a disaster to say the least. As sexually depraved as Bella was, Royce was too touchy feely for her. Every time he touched her she felt the need to go home and take a long, scalding hot shower just to get the funk off. Bella would have gone on a thousand dates with Mike before she would ever go back out with this sleaze. Bella unashamedly had more fun with Bob that night than she did on the entire date. Maybe Alice had been right all along, Bella thought, maybe she just needed to get off more than every blue moon. As she came down from her personal pleasure time Bella had found that the anxiety had melted away, but to her dismay, soon after it was back in full force.

Classes held no promise to keep Bella's mind off of Edward, either. She had never been this way about him and it was starting to scare her. She just let herself believe that it was all because she could not see for herself that he was doing okay and hanging in there. She was pretty sure Edward's dad knew of some great and professional psychologists that Bella could talk to just to ensure she didn't leap off the deep end with worry. Sleep had been calling her name as Bella had completed her scheduled classes for the day, but she was surprised to find her letter in the mailbox waiting for its retrieval. She pushed the thought of "my letter" out of her head for the time being. Bella figured she would eventually get back to analyze the thought process that she had in her initial reaction.

Eventually.

_ March 04_

_ 2100 hours_

_Bella,_

_Sorry it has taken me so long to respond. Again. I'm glad to hear that you are making some girlfriends. Just make sure that they know when I return home that they aren't taking you from me._

_It's been a pretty tiring week to say the least. Too many horrid things to really get into it all in a letter and probably illegal to do so as well. I'm still breathing and that's a good thing. What I would not give to sit at Joe's with a pitcher of beer playing that stupid trivia game that you love so dearly. I would take that ten times over if I could just be at home. Hell, I'd even drink that piss beer that your dad and Billy make and that's saying a lot._

_So, I thought, since I need some reprieve from my reality right now, we'd play a game of sorts. You truly are my best friend and we know a lot about one another but I thought we could end each letter with a question for the other person to answer. Honestly. Stuff we don't know or didn't realize we didn't know about the other._

_Oh, Emmett and Jasper both say "HI". They can't wait to meet you when we get home. I think Jasper has already fallen in love with the girl I've been telling them stories about. Make sure you live up to the standards I've set when you meet them so they don't think I am a complete and utter lying asshole!_

_First Question: How long has it really been since you've had sex? With a living, breathing male, I might add. (All of the running that we had been doing makes me terrified for your answer!)_

_Miss you._

_Edward_

**MARCH 20**

People honestly have no idea what really happens over here across the pond.

They only know what bullshit that the news stations are feeding them, Edward walked around aimlessly thinking to himself. He figured you don't see bullshit for what it is unless you were over there in it. To him, the truth was disgusting.

Edward was on his way to a neighboring town two days prior, when one of the Humvees broke down up the road from their base camp. They were trying to get it fixed so they could keep moving on when shots rang out. One civilian man had been severely wounded when he was hit while riding his bike into town. All gunshots are known to be painful but a gut shot is altogether a different kind of pain. Edward went to grab his med bag so he could go to the man and help him out. He was quickly grabbed by his Colonel and ordered to stand down. Edward could not believe what his commanding officer was asking him to do by telling him to stop his movements.

To Edward, he was under the assumption that they were to help all living human beings, no matter the race, age or gender. Instead, he was made to sit and listen to the gut wrenching cries from this grown man as he slowly and excruciatingly bled to death in front of them. He was now seeing this man in his dreams at night and sometimes it is just pitch black but he could be certain that he always would hear his cries. They repeated his begging over and over again, pleading for someone to help. For Edward the worst part was when it got eerily quiet and that's when he knew this man had finally died.

Yet again.

Just once he wished he was able to help that man. Even in his most horrendous nightmares.

Edward needed to talk to Bella. She would know exactly what to say to him for him to relax. He had never been so completely scared in his entire life as he was at the moment. For him, putting on the brave mask was the only thing he could do with his battle buddies because if he broke down in front of them, it would do terrible and irreversible damage and possibly destroy their team. Edward did not want to be the one responsible and to be the cause of that type of damage. There were already too many things not worth the torment of remembering and mentioning out loud that were blatantly tearing each member of the team apart from the inside out.

Edward's main goal was to make it back in one piece to his bunk on a nightly basis. Emmett, Jasper and Edward shared a concrete house that resembled a hut. No privacy equaled no breaking down. It was hard for Edward to keep a brave face for them. That's why it was no surprise when they witnessed one tear slide down Edward's face when he opened Bella's letter. Emmett nor Jasper had said a word.

They didn't have to.

_ March 25_

_ No freaking clue!_

_Edward,_

_I'm not sure what to say. I've been so worried about you that Alice bought me a new Bob to add to the ever growing collection and Rose set me up on a date with a greasy, dipshit, literally. It was horrifying._

_Truthfully, Eddie, I don't want to tell you how long it has been since I've been sexed up by someone other than myself. You asked for honest and I want you to make sure that you are sitting down for this answer…_

_I asked, are you sitting?_

_Thanks for finally listening and sitting down…._

_It's not my fault if you didn't listen and get your ass hurt, not at all one part my fault….._

_ONE YEAR._

_I haven't had sex in a year and hopefully that streak will end soon._

_School is going well and I'm starting to really enjoy my Lit classes. It seems all I do is read but really what did I do with all of my time alone last year?_

_I hope things are calm your way. I try not to watch the news or think of where you really are. In my dreams you are on the beach in the sand making fun of my inability to do anything sports related in the sand. Not at war somewhere surrounded by said hot sand. _

_I really do miss you terribly._

_Okay, enough of that, onto my question for you. Can you really find any privacy at all there where you can work your five fingered girl friend to death?_

_I hope to hear from you soon. Take care and tell Emmett and Jasper that I can't wait to meet them, too! (Hopefully I will survive and live up to their expectations that my confused best friend lied to them about!)_

_Bella_

* * *

**Thanks again for reading and please let me know what you think! ~ Jen**


	6. Chapter 6

**Well, I'm back. Couldn't help it. My kiddos have been sick so I've had time to sit and mess around with this a bit more. My mistakes are my own. I would love to know what you all think about this. I'll continue writing but it would be nice to know if some enjoy it or even if you don't. Thanks again!**

**We know I don't own it and we know who does. Enjoy.**

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CHAPTER 6

**MARCH 25**

"What the fuck!" Edward screamed at the concrete walls.

He had just finished reading Bella's letter and was pissed.

Edward really was not sure where that fucking pitiful excuse of emotion came from but she could not be serious about just going out and finding a random fuck to break her one year streak. Could she? Did Bella really not understand that she was not the only one? Edward could not figure out why he had not explained to her that although he had been on many random dates none of the women held his interest long enough for a romp between the sheets.

"Fuck me," Edward muttered to himself.

Being upset was one thing but he could not fathom why he was so pissed about all of this. It was not like Bella was his girl or anything. In a way she was, he figured, but it was never like that.

"Dude, what's up? You don't usually start randomly yelling out fuck when you read one of her letters. You okay, man?" Emmett asked from his bunk.

"Seriously I don't think I've heard you ever say fuck so many times in such rapid succession," Jasper chimed in.

Both Emmett and Edward started at Jasper wide eyed like he had a dick placed directly in the middle of his forehead. Did he seriously just pull out some intelligent sounding shit from that brain of his, Edward asked himself. All three of them started guffawing and he thought Emmett was going to tip right on off of his too small mattress. Why they had these small ass mattresses for 6'5" men he would never understand.

Jasper just looked at the both of them blank faced and asked, "What?"

Edward calmed himself down and decided he needed to probably talk to someone about what he was feeling and have them explain to him why he was feeling this way. He was not one of those get in touch with your inner feelings type of guy but he just needed some help figuring out his toddler tendency induced tirade.

"Do you all think it's wrong of me to be pissed at Bella for telling me she's just looking for a random lay to break her fuckiong sexless streak?" Edward asked the both of them.

"That depends, why does it bother you? I mean, we all need our releases, right?" Jasper snickered while wiggling his five fingers up in the air.

Edward proceeded to tell them all about Bella and himself, along with how their friendship had surpassed any other relationship either of them had ever been in. Both of the guys looked dumbfounded. As Emmett and Jasper looked at each other and then quickly back at Edward, Emmett actually decided to speak up first.

"Have you ever thought of her as anything other than a friend, bro?" he asked.

Edward had to think about that. She was beautiful. That was a given. She never realized it, though. He thought that's what made her even more beautiful in his eyes. Bella was clumsy as fuck but that was an endearing quality in her. She was loyal to a fault and a lot like Edward with his feelings. She wasn't your typical girly girl but that's what made her wonderful. Did he check out her ass and tits? Sure, but any normal, heterosexual man would. In short, Bella was hot and smart, loving and fun, which to Edward were all great qualities to find in a woman.

"I guess I really haven't. I just don't think that's why I'm pissed. It can't be, I mean, we've had our conquests and notches on the bed posts and all that shit but I don't ever remember her just sitting down and talking about them with me like I did with her." Edward continued saying.

Edward told the guys reluctantly that he was going to hit the rack. They agreed since it had been hell around there for the past couple of days. He couldn't get the thoughts of big, brown eyes and long brown hair out of his mind. Shit, Edward really thought he was going crazy. He figured it all had to be just because he was so far away from at the time.

"Fuck it, I can't sleep," he muttered while listening to Emmett and Jasper snoring like chainsaws through the too silent night.

He decided to grab his flashlight and write Bella back. Edward just hoped his emotions about his reaction or actually from his reaction were not running too high and seeping through his words that Edward had put to paper.

**April 1, 2009**

Bella just could not figure it out for the life of her what the hell was going through her mind. Green eyes and bronze hair accompanied every thought that she was having. She completely understood she was missing her best friend but this was borderline ridiculous. Someone behind her cleared their throat and that brought Bella out of her inner musings. Bella continued on through line at the cafeteria, she would not normally eat there but she had to meet Alice back in the library to study in about fifteen minutes so she did not have time to get home and back for lunch.

Maybe she could talk to Alice about all of this she thought since Alice was always full of unsolicited opinions about everything and nothing at all. Maybe Bella would actually listen this time.

She found Alice sitting in the back of the library with her feet propped up on the chair and her books spread out in front of her all over the table. Bella suppressed her laugh. Alice looked so small sitting at the hug, old oak table alone.

"How are you faring today? You've been a little more emo on me than usual the past couple of days. What's going on in that sweet little brown head of yours?" she asked without taking a breath.

Bella just stared at her while she found the courage to actually talk to her about a guy. Not just any guy but Edward. Luckily Bella finally found that courage down in the tips of her toes.

"Alice, have you ever had a guy that you've known forever and finally realized that he's the only thing on your mind even thought you've never dated and there's no way possible that you ever would and he could never think that you were actually beautiful or even in his league? And I'm rambling, aren't I?" Bella blurted out.

"Yep you were and I take it we're talking about Edward again, right?" She queried with a giant smile gracing her petite features.

Bella continued on and told here what she was feeling and that she couldn't figure out why she missed him so much. Of course Alice was full of questions but she never gave Bella a definite answer and that was what Bella was actually looking for.

"This may sound crazy, Bella, but since we're talking about guys or one guy in particular for you, can I tell you about what's been plaguing my romantic or non-romantic life?" Alice asked.

Bella nodded her head and silently told her to proceed. They were in a library and everyone around them were already staring and shaking their heads at them for being so loud. So Bella figured a little silent gesture may make up for their continued talking.

"Well, anyway, I feel like there's one person out there that's perfect for me. I've actually seen him in a few of my dreams but the only problem is that I don't know when we'll cross paths." She stated so surely.

Alice continued on with little response from Bella, "The problem is that I don't know when we'll cross paths exactly. I just know that we will if I keep searching for him but I have a bad feeling about where he is right now."

Alice couldn't look up at Bella and was staring and peeling off her new manicure.

Bella tried to keep the look off of my face that showed the feelings of "Oh my God, I just found out that my friend, potentially my best friend, is fucking off her rocker". She was not sure how well she did since Alice abruptly stood and gathered her books and things. Before she turned to leave, Alice placed her small hand on Bella's shoulder. Bella looked up at Alice waiting for something.

Anything.

Bella could only hope that she had not pissed off one of her only friends here on the U.S. soil.

"You have to follow your heart sometime, Bella. Your brain doesn't always know what's best for you." Alice quietly whispered.

That was rather cryptic Bella thought and Alice just smiled at her and practically skipped away.

Bella packed up her stuff since there was no way in hell that she'd get any studying done now. It took her about fifteen minutes to get home. Bella walked towards the mailboxes realizing that she had actually forgotten to check it the day before. She picked up her pace and strides. Bell could not figure out if she was nervous or excited about receiving a letter from Edward. Bella seemed to think it was a little bit of both.

Coming to a screeching halt in front of her mailbox, Bella figured it a bit too late that it was not a really good idea to do this. She had dropped her keys into the bushes situated just in front of the boxes. Hastily she began digging through them and searching for her keys.

"Fucking pointy ass weeds! These aren't even pretty bushes!" Bella yelled to no one in particular.

Bella finally saw something shiny all the way back in the bushes. Shit, she thought. They just had to be where she could not physically reach after them. She dropped to her knees and huffed extremely loud and that's when she heard a deep, liquid voice from behind her chuckling quietly. She stood up as tall as she could with one hand on her hip as Bella regarded the jet black haired, giant perched off to the side of her. Damn he was huge.

"What the hell are you staring at and what gives you the fucking right to be laughing at me?" Bella whisper yelled at him. She did not want to cause a bigger scene that what she already was.

He lazily smiled down at her.

He was staring at her where she could see all of his perfectly white, insanely straight teeth.

"I was just wondering what the greenery did to deserve your wrath." He stated with a smile playing on his again perfectly plump lips.

Damn he was hot, Bella thought. Hopefully that was not out loud she added to her inner monologue. She really could not stay mad at him too long so Bella gave in and asked for help.

"I dropped my keys in thee killer bushes and can't seem to reach them. Would you mind using your extremely long, freakish arm to get them out of the back for me?" Bella asked as sweetly as she thought she could.

Bella did not know what the fuck she was getting at because this was not her normal behavior.

What. The. Fuck.

He laughed and bent over the bushes to reach all the way back for her keys. She could not help but to check out the hard ass that was placed right in front of her face when he did that.

"Thanks. I really do appreciate it. I don't know if I would have made it out alive if I had tried to do that. I'm not the most graceful of people." Bella said as they started walking towards the door to head into the apartment building.

"I don't mind. I'm just glad I could help. By the way, I live up on the third floor in 304 and just moved in about a week ago. Maybe you could pay me back by showing me around this area since I don't know it too well." The dark haired man said.

"That would actually be great. My name is Bella. I'm on the first floor. I'm sure I will see you around sometime." Bella told him but she was a little uncomfortable for some reason giving him too much information. He was hot as hell but for her luck he was probably a serial killer or rapist.

"Good, good. Again, I'm glad I could be of help with my freakishly long arms and all. Oh and my name's Jacob or Jake by the way." He continued as he turned and ran up the stairs to his floor.

Bella slowly turned down her hallway and decided that she may have to give Jacob or Jake a try, maybe. She couldn't help feeling guilt or maybe it was betrayal welling up in her chest.

"Why the hell is that?" Bella asked out loud as she opened her apartment door.


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm back again and hopefully all my kiddos are on the mend :) There have been quite a few reading this story but very few reviewing. I'm not above begging to know what you all think but honestly I don't want to have to resort to that. I hope you are but if you aren't or see something I can work on, I want to know that as well! **

**We know I don't own this and honestly I'm thankful to just get to play with the character's names and basic personalities. Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 7**

**April 2, 2009**

Bella was thankful that today was Thursday and she did not have classes until noon. That was a plus for her because her sleep the night before was fitful at best. It took her hours just to will her body to shut down and to go to sleep in the first place. That's when her dreams took over for her, though. She never had the full bodied dreams but a pair of green eyes haunted her as someone else's liquid voice spoke to her. Somehow Bella figured that the guilt from yesterday's encounter with Jacob had not fully dissipated and removed itself from her system. She still had no clue as to why she felt guilty in the first place.

The clock said 9 am and the sun was actually poking its way through the shades of Bella's bedroom.

"Fuck," Bella quietly spoke.

She figured she would go ahead and get the hell out of bed but Bella really did not want to. At this point she was even thinking about going for a run. She had actually been running less and less since Edward had been gone. Bella had seen herself in the mirror yesterday before class and what she saw was that you could actually see her lack of running on her still thin frame. If she did not do something quickly about it, she will have gained about 30 pounds by the time Edward got back to the US in about 8 months. Bella could not help reminding herself about how slow time seemed to be moving for her.

She gradually got dressed and started heading for the door. After grabbing for her keys she realized that she had never really gotten around to checking her mail the day before. Bella guessed that being initially enamored with the big oaf that was Jacob had made her lose track of what she was doing in the first place. That yearning began again deep in her stomach and carried on to Bella's heart. By this point she had taken off running outside to the mailbox. She really had hoped there was a certain letter waiting for her in there. She did not know how much longer she would make it without hearing just a little something from Edward. Hopefully he would not die from a heart attack when she revealed to him that she had not had sex in a year, Bella thought with a smirk on her face.

"Damn, I really need to do something about the no sex thing." Bella snidely remarked to herself.

Bella quickly found out that she had been right. There was a pretty thick letter from Edward sitting perfectly on top in her mailbox. Fuck the run, she thought, I've got better things to do with my time. Edward had always said she was too thin, anyways.

_25Mar2009_

_Too late to care_

_Bella,_

_Well to say that I was shocked by your last letter would be an understatement. I understand now why were logging 150 miles per week! Just kidding, we've all been there. I hope you don't think that you have to go and find just some fuck nut to go and have your way with. I really don't think that's a healthy way to go about it, physically or emotionally. You do remember those health classes we had to take in high school, right? All of those nasty STD pictures that they felt the need to show us? Anyway, I want you to know that you could have any man that you wanted and I don't want you to feel like you have to settle for the first dick that comes your way. No pun intended._

_Things here have been a bit crazy. Don't worry too much, I know how you are. We're still safe and we're all still breathing and that's a plus, right? I mean, right now I am listening to two chainsaws in my room. They'd wake the dead if we weren't out here in the middle of no where. Hell, they could possibly still get it done._

_I really am enjoying these letters. It gives me something to look forward to and isn't like the instant gratification that you get if you actually are granted a phone call out of here. Although instant gratification is sometimes a good thing which leads me into your question that you had for me. If you really think that I'm going to jerk off anywhere near these fuckers I'm here with, then you have absolutely lost it. Our toilets consist of holes in the ground with plywood placed around to try and hide you and our showers are less that that. So really, unless I want to circle jerk with Emmett and Jasper, then my five finger pleasuring is definitely out of the question. Happy now?_

_Okay my next question is this: Have you ever been love? I know you've had relationships that might have sustained 6 months but did you ever love one of those fuckers? Tyler? Eric? What was that red head kid's name? ANSWER TRUTHFULLY Isabella Marie Swan! Yeah, that's right, I broke out the full name._

_I found something while I was reading the other night before I hit the rack and it made me think of you. If you like it, let me know and I may send you the rest of it._

_ She walks in beauty, like the night_

_ Of cloudless climes and starry skies;_

_ And all that's best of dark and bright_

_ Meet in her aspect and her eyes;_

_ Thus mellowed to that tender light_

_ Which heaven to gaudy day denies._

_I miss you more than you know and I'll be waiting for my next letter patiently. Okay, maybe not patiently but I'll be waiting._

_Edward_

Bella wished that she had someone to talk to about this recent letter. For some reason it felt like he was trying to put some emotion into it but not everything he was feeling completely. She still had like two hours before class and there was no better time than any to admit to Edward that she had never loved a man other than him and Charlie.

"Fuck." Bella thought.

**April 9, 2009**

Days seemed to blend altogether the longer that Edward was there in the sand. Some days happened to feel like they were dragging on and on and they would never end.

Today just happened to be one of those days for him.

"Will today ever fucking end?' Edward said to Jasper and Emmett as they filed slowly into their room.

"I don't know, man. Are you alright after what happened this morning? You seemed to lose it back there for a little bit. I mean, I know you weren't close to the guys but you had to work on that one." Emmett said while sadly shaking his head.

Edward shrugged his shoulders and that felt like a good enough answer. Or at least in his mind it was. Jasper was patting his should as he slid by Edward on his way to his wall locker. Edward had learned that this was how Jasper dealt with all the bullshit around there. He was known to stay quiet and would rather make sure everyone else was okay unlike Emmett who always wanted to rehash every action and reaction in great detail. Edward, well, he was somewhere in the middle but mostly he had been keeping everything locked inside of his war riddled brain.

He had to admit that today had been rough, though. It was not just the fact that they had lost two of their own for God knows what. One of those men Edward had to personally fight to save. It was the long, chocolate brown haired woman that Emmett was working on that got to him the most. She was an American civilian, a journalist of some sort that unfortunately got caught in the crossfire. Who knows whose bullet was the one that actually killed her. To Edward it truthfully really did not matter because she was no longer breathing just the same.

As she had laid there lifeless on the ground all Edward could think about was how much she reminded him of Bella. He couldn't see her face because Emmett was draped across her beaten and bruised body trying to apply enough pressure to the gaping chest wound that she had received to at least try and slow down the bleeding. Then all he could think about was what would become of him if anything ever happened to his Bella. It almost crushed Edward. Just that thought alone had his heart ripping into two. Ever since he had sent his last letter to her he'd been hovering over the post people to see if she sent anything back to him yet. It had been a really long two weeks of waiting for that damn thing.

In Edward's head he logically knew that it took about a week for her to receive his letter and vice versa after Bella would respond.

"Shit," Edward thought.

What he wouldn't have given to have better email service out where he was. They were so far embedded in country that they barely had communications with their own people, let alone for their families.

Edward went to sit on his bunk and realized that something was sticking out from under his pillow. There was a note attached to it that he could barely read since his hands were shaking so harshly.

"Cullen, I know you were expecting this. Figured I'd go ahead and leave it here."- PFC Garrett.

He would have to thank that kid one of these days. Edward threw himself on his bunk and began ripping into my letter. He heard Emmett and Jasper snickering, so they already knew who the letter was from just by Edward's reaction to it. Anxiety washed over him when he started to think about how Bella would feel regarding the letter he had written to her and what her answer would be to the question about how many times she had been in love. Edward did not think he could handle it if she had ever loved anyone else. He knew it was not fair of him to think but he was an inherently selfish person. Like ripping off the proverbial Band-Aid, Edward jumped in and began reading.

_April 2, 2009_

_Fuck if I know, my watch broke_

_Edward,_

_First and foremost, I miss you terribly. Okay, now that's out of the way, what the hell do you take me for? A hussy?! I'm not just going to find a random guy to fuck! Seriously? I do remember those health classes and frequently still have nightmares from them by the way._

_I hate to think about what you mean by "things are crazy". You know me too well because I'll continue to worry about your sorry ass until I see you walk through the airport doors here at home. Life is okay here if you consider having two exceptionally pushy women calling and beating down your door at all hours to be good. They say getting out is for my own good, but I just think they are both closet alcoholics. Just kidding about that, sort of._

_Those guys can't snore half as bad as when Dad and Carlisle get together after Thanksgiving dinner, can they? I'd hate to see the four of them in your parents' living room sawing logs together, wouldn't you? I bet they'd make beautiful music together._

_I have to agree with you on enjoying snail mail correspondence. It gives me something to look forward to in my mundane life. Although, I think a week is a little long to wait, even for the postal service._

_I'm so sorry that you have to shit through a hole. I couldn't imagine. I'd be blocked up from fear of trying to accomplish the act. Please refrain from telling me if you do end up circle jerking with your two new "best" buddies. Not that it matters but I may look at you a little differently if you have to resort to that._

_I will say that I truly loved the stanza of poetry that you sent to me last time. I guess I just don't see how that it reminded you of me. I would like to hear more of it, though. I searched for hours for the author of it, but of course it was to no avail._

_Okay, to answer your question on if I've ever been in love, I would have to say with only two men. Now before you go spastic let me say that I have only loved, embarrassingly enough, Charlie and you, of course. I've never felt anything other than like and friendship and occasional lust from those other assholes that I dated. Yes, that includes the not to be named red head as well. Ugh. Anyway, keeping with tradition, I will ask you the same question. Have you ever been in love Edward Anthony Cullen and if you have, how many times. I too can break out the middle name. You damn well better answer me truthfully._

_I've been doing some light reading myself but I have yet to find something that fully encompasses what you mean to me in my life. If anything ever happened to you and I was to never see you again, well I'm not sure where that would leave me. I realize now how much I had come to rely on you for everything, not that this was a bad thing but a part of my heart is missing right now with you gone. Hope that's not too sappy, but it's just how I feel. I'll end this letter here. I will be impatiently waiting for the arrival of my next letter!_

_Love,_

_Bella_

Edward did not even know where to begin or to even fathom the thought that the only two people that Bella had ever lover of the opposite sex were her father and himself. The smile that this letter had left him with probably wouldn't be erased for some time. He had plenty of time to write her back tonight since they had been taken off the night shift after what had happened to them earlier that day.

"That good, huh?" Emmett asked.

"Better than good my man, better than good." Edward responded with a shit eating grin on his face. He quickly grabbed his favorite pen and paper to begin to explain to his best friend that he had never loved another woman other than her outside of his family.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks to those that have reviewed and let me know that you actually like this story! That definitely makes me want to continue on with it. Again, pay attention to dates as this is where time is getting very important. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. It was hard to write as you will soon know why. Too close to home sometimes with the military information and honestly some memories I don't want to revisit. Thanks again! Please let me know what you think!**

**Again, we know I do NOT own these characters and we know who does. I just like playing war with them.**

**Chapter 8**

**April 23, 2009**

Bella was running late as she always did for her coffee date with Alice. She couldn't figure out how Alice could love her coffee so much. Bella couldn't find her damn sneakers and she thought her sweatshirt was still in the wash.

"Eww." Bella thought.

She did not want to think about how that entire load of laundry that was still down there was probably mildewed and ruined by now since she had came home too drunk, with Alice and Rose of course, to remember to put her damn clothes into the dryer.

Of all days for Bella to be falling apart, this was not what she needed. It had now been two weeks since she had sent her letter to Edward and she still had not heard back from him. She hoped like hell she had not scared him off. Or worse in the dark recesses of her mind was the thought that something could have happened to him during that time. Bella couldn't help feeling like she had scared him off since she kind of went all emotional girly girl on his ass about only loving him and Charlie. She didn't get it, she knew his last letter had hinted at the fact that he felt something for her other than just platonic friendship, but Bella figured that she was being naïve in thinking that Edward felt something like that for someone as plain as she was. Hence why she went and decided to get shit faced the other night and it definitely had not, she thought. She figured that she could keep telling herself that nothing bad could happen to Edward and then it would keep those bad things from occurring. So that's what Bella continued to do. In her mind he was safe somewhere and she just had to keep willing it to remain that way.

Bella grabbed her keys and started running out of the door and down the stairs. She should have known that this was a terrible idea.

A tragic mistake of epic proportions for her to be running down the stairs to begin with.

"Umphhh," was all she heard when she ungracefully rolled down the last three stairs to the bottom floor.

"Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck!" Bella groaned out. She couldn't tell if she had broken anything again this time, but her landing was much softer than even she had anticipated it being. Slowly she opened her eyes and realized that she was staring into the face of the giant that she hadn't seen since he had moved in.

"Oh shit, Jacob! I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have been running down the stairs and I am definitely not the most graceful of people and oh my God are you bleeding?" Bella rambled on and on to the smirking man below her.

"Wow, Bella, I didn't know you'd be so excited to see me again. If I had known this I definitely would have come to find you before now." Jacob said as he graced Bella with that huge mega watt smile of his.

She finally came to her senses and surveyed the scene before her. Here she was lying on top of a man that Bella had only spoken to about two times. Now was not the time to think about Edward's letter regarding just finding a random lay because she had to admit that this guy was too cute for his own good. He just did not have the right eye color or hair color for her. Definitely not the right body build, either. Or maybe he just wasn't the right one, period, she thought to herself.

After Bella had been having her silent conversation with herself for a little too long for comfort she decided she probably needed to get up off of the big oaf. If Jacob had thought anything was strange about this or her absence from the present for a bit, he didn't mention it.

Thank God, she thought.

That would have been really embarrassing for Bella. She could already tell that she was probably beet red from the forehead down. Bella just hoped that was all stemming from the exertion of her fall down the stairs and not from her abrupt closeness to him.

"I am so sorry, Jacob. I can't believe how clumsy and dim witted I can be sometimes. Here let me get you something for your head. Shit, you're bleeding pretty badly. Does it hurt? Do I need to call someone? I will if I need to because I don't handle blood that well or at all for that matter." Bella knew she was rambling but it was everything she could do not to just pass out from the blood trickling down his brow. It probably wasn't too bad but to her it was a gushing head wound.

Jacob starting laughing and shaking his head.

"May I ask where exactly you were heading to like a bat out of hell or is this just your way to pick up your extra cute neighbor?" he asked.

She really didn't know what to say to that. Bella was really trying not to be late for her date with Alice but her main reason from bombarding down the stairs that way was to see if anything was waiting for her inside of her mailbox. She knew that she was a glutton for punishment and misery. She had been checking it like everyday, many times a day for the past week and sometimes Bella even stood there eyeballing the mailman waiting to see if her letter would arrive. She was just that pathetic, she thought to herself.

"I'm so sorry. I'm just trying not to be late for coffee with one of my girlfriends." Bella said to Jacob as she tried to check him over just to be sure he was really okay.

"Not a big deal, Bella. But there is one thing that you can do for me to make all of this up." Jacob responded with a sly grin.

She really did not know what he was referring to but she was beginning to think that she would not like it too much.

"I'd like to ask you to dinner tonight. Would that be a problem? Say around 7:00?" He proceeded to ask.

Bella thought it was the least she could do, right? She did knock him down a flight of stairs and he was really, really cute. At least Bella could just sit and stare at him all night if it completely sucked ass. All she could do at that point was nod her head to let him know that it would be okay. She didn't feel like she could answer him verbally without inserting her foot into her mouth. Bella retreated from her position by the stairs quickly and turned to wave goodbye.

"Ill see you tonight, Bella. I'd take a gushing head wound any day just to get to spend the evening in your company." Jacob said with his signature smile.

Bella smiled back at him and ran out of the door. She couldn't really check her mail now because she was truly late for her meeting with Alice.

"Damn it!" she whispered to herself.

She figured she would just grab it when she got back. She had waited this long, what's another couple of hours. Bella didn't want Jacob to really know why she was truly rushing down the stairs, either. It was one thing to be absolutely crazy in her own head but it's another thing for someone like him to witness and think that she was absolutely psycho over her best friend who's not even there. That was definitely not something she wanted to try and explain to him at this point in time.

**April 29, 2009**

"Unfucking believable!" Edward thought.

That's what the past two weeks had been for him. Just when he thought things may calm down they literally get blown all to hell again. They had lost another part of their hospital due to an APG round that some fucking coward had decided to shoot at them. Hell, he probably wasn't even aiming at them, Edward thought. In Edward's mind they were cowards. All of them. They couldn't even show their faces when they tried to kill them. No, that wouldn't do for them and their damn jihad. That was the night that Edward had written Bella back. He didn't actually get to mail the fucking letter until a week later when the mail actually started running again, he remembered bitterly.

In fact, they had to shut down the mail system due to all of the attacks on the incoming and outgoing convoys. Here they were two weeks later and all Edward could think about is whether or not Bella had received the damn thing yet. He hoped he had not scared her with this one, though. Edward couldn't help but to just think about her all of the time now. Hell, he even had a picture of them together out at one of their favorite bars inside of his gear so that when he started feeling like things were never going to get better or even when he was lonely or scared, Edward could just look at that and see probably the most beautiful woman in the world.

His thoughts revolved around the fact that he thought he had become the biggest fucking pussy. Why in the hell had he not noticed this before Edward couldn't fathom. It wasn't like it should have taken being thousands and thousands of miles away from this woman just to make him see how much he actually loved her and that it wasn't just a platonic love, he snidely thought to himself.

"Hey Eddie Boy!" Are you listening to anything we've been talking about?" Emmett called out over the sounds of their Humvee.

"Yeah man. I'm listening but I just, I don't know. My brain isn't quite working right now. I can't seem to get this feeling of dread out of my system. I think we've just been on alert for so fucking long now that my body doesn't know how to be normal. Does that make any sense?" Edward asked both Em and Jazz.

"Well, I'll tell you this. I can feel this shit down in my toes. It's not going away, man. I figure I'll wake up one morning and hopefully this shit will be gone," Jasper waved his hands about and yelled out over the revving engine.

They were gearing up to head into the bordering town to do something. Edward didn't even know what mission they were going on that day or for how long. They all seemed to blend together into one. One long ass day and mission, Edward thought. A few minutes later, the Commander yelled over the system that it was time to head out. It was a pretty short drive into this place and it wasn't like you had scenery to make it go by faster, so Edward was lost in his own thoughts.

He could not wait to go home on R&R just to see Bella. Well, that was if she wanted to see him again after his last letter he thought as Edward began to doubt himself. He sure hoped so. There were so many things that he wanted to say to her. That could also include things that he wanted to do to her, too. He'd been having dreams since the first week they were there but now days it had been Bella and himself that had taken the star role in his dreams. Edward hated waking up with his cock so hard that he could possibly use it as a weapon and not his M-16. Those were the dreams that he undoubtedly grew to love the most. Unfortunately he found that after the first few he was feeling really guilty about seeing his best friend above him riding his cock or down on her knees with her beautiful mouth in an "O" around him. Once he had started to come to terms with what the hell was going on in his head and his heart, he let himself enjoy them. What the hell else could he do, get pissed at his own subconscious he thought bitterly. He figured Bella would have gotten a kick out of it anyway.

Coming to, Edward saw movement out of the corner of his eye on his left. He was driving the damn thing, Emmett was sitting beside him up front and jasper was manning the array of weapons that they had at their disposal with them. Edward knew it was a person running but that's not at all uncommon where they were. He always wondered what they were running from.

All of a sudden it hit out of nowhere. Out of all the training about IEDs that they had all taken before they had even gotten their marching orders, nothing would have prepared them for their right tire rolling over one of them that looked like a rock.

"That son of a bitch!" Edward yelled out.

All he could think was that it had to have been a remote detonated IED.

He jerked the Humvee to the left as the right side flipped over. All he could hear was yelling through the radio about needing a medic for the medics. If his head hadn't have been hurting so fucking bad, Edward may have found this statement humorous, he thought. After they had finally stopped rolling over and the vehicle had settled, Edward tried to take in his surroundings.

This definitely was not a good idea Edward decided because when he looked Em was slumped over basically on top of him and he was bleeding profusely from a gash in his shoulder. It looked like from where he was that Emmett still had a piece of metal off of the vehicle lodged in his shoulder blade. Edward called out to Jasper at that point to see where he was but he didn't answer him.

"Fuck!" he thought as he realized that he couldn't move because of all the damage done to Em's side of the Humvee and they were all cramped into one another.

Edward tried to listen because he thought he had heard people shouting and shooting or maybe it could have been shooting and shouting for all he knew. Things started getting hazy for him. He couldn't tell if he had been hit or not but he knew that his injuries probably weren't as bad as Em's and possibly Jasper's. That's when Edward saw her. She was running to him with tears in her big, brown doe eyes. The sight brought a smile to Edward's face as everything began to fade to a darkness that was worse than black for the first time that day.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hope you are still enjoying these characters as much as I am! Keep paying attention to dates because it can get a tad confusing. I hope to bring it all together in the next couple of chapters. Thank you to everyone who took the time to review! You really do not know the joy of seeing them especially to a boring mother of 4 who needs something other poopy diapers :) Thanks again!**

**We know I don't own this and that SM does. Just happy to get to play with the characters. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**April 23, 2009**

As Bella was hugging Alice goodbye with her to-go cup of coffee in her hand, she had a million thoughts running through her head. They all mainly revolved around one green eyed boy.

"Fuck, he was a man." Bella thought to herself.

Returning library books, picking up laundry and getting a few groceries so she wouldn't starve were all thrown in there sporadically as well.

Coffee with Alice was as interesting as always to Bella. She sat there silently while adding in a few well placed "Ah's" and "Really's". Getting a word in with Alice while she was on a tirade about how she couldn't find anyone to go out with past the first date was like trying to shove an elephant through someone's asshole.

She did not bring up her dilemma with Jake and Edward. It just really didn't seem like a good time to Bella especially when Alice said that she knew she would meet her perfect man soon. She had seen it in a vision and told Bella that it was true. How was she able to doubt one's ability to see into the future? She figured that everyday she had people telling her they could fly and read people's minds as well.

Completely normal.

Bella just decided to talk about her issues at a later date with the resident psychic.

Bella began practically running to the library just so she could quickly get home and most definitely be depressed for the evening because she was sure as shit positive that there wasn't a letter from Edward in her mailbox. Of course being Bella, she was a proven masochist. After she threw her books in the drop box at the library like the lazy ass that she was, she sprinted one block to the cleaners to grab a couple of dresses and pants that she had finally taken to them after spilling shit on them two years prior.

She was sure the stains fought well, but the little guy that owned the place could get any stain out of any clothing. He would do Monica Lewinski proud.

Speaking of said little guy, he currently was standing behind the counter and stared at Bella curiously from her face to the tapping right foot. She was silently telling him to hurry the fuck up and get her shit out there to her yesterday. She resorted to this tactic because she couldn't say it out loud to his face. Bella did not want to find out how many sizes he could shrink her shit to the next time she decided to bring her stuff back to him. Her last stop was for milk, bread, and all the necessities Bella needed to stave off starvation. She didn't have time for all of this, so dry cereal it was for her, she decided rather triumphantly.

Bella had not actually taken a run in awhile and as she made her way up to the mailbox she definitely had to sit her tired ass down before she fell out amongst the killer bushes again. She leaned her dry cleaning up against the boxes themselves and slid her rear down the side of it before she collapsed. Bella deftly but more likely clumsily crawled on her hands and knees to check it out.

"Low and fucking behold it's here," Bella giggled out loud.

"Hmph. How dare they put all this other shit on top of you?" she spoke to the mailbox as she slowly realized that she may have completely lost her fucking mind.

She slid her letter out and slammed the door shut on the rest of her offending pieces of mail. Bella was so busy trying to open up the Fort Knox's of all letters while walking towards her apartment at the same time when a gentle clearing of a throat startled the shit out of her.

"Um, mam? I think you forgot something?" the unknown throat clearer said.

Bella turned around to see a little, old man holding up her dry cleaning. She couldn't help but think to herself how much Edward had seriously and clearly fucked her shit up. After he handed over the said garments of clothing, she thanked him quickly and turned around to run like the mad woman that she was becoming up the stairs and into her apartment. She grabbed the first seat available and glanced at the clock in the kitchen realizing it was already 5:30 p.m. and Jake would be there at 7:00 p.m. to collect her. Bella dove right into her Edward's letter. That's right, she though, her Edward. Even in her own mind she was becoming and sounding like the proverbial love, sick child that she knew she was.

_09April or actually the 10th_

_0013 (really early or late, considering)_

_Bella,_

_Is it sad to say that I am just as excited about writing back to you as I am when I actually get your letters? Okay, maybe not as much, but very close. The guys know exactly who my letters are from based on how quickly I open and dig into them. Emmett and Jasper as me again to say hello from them and that they can't wait to finally meet you in the flesh. Of course, those feelings come no where close to how excited I am about actually seeing you. _

_Truthfully, those thoughts are what get me through these long, drawn out days. Some days are better than others, but most of the time I really don't know how my sanity has held on this long. _

_Enough of that. There will be time for me to tell you about what's been happening over here when I get home. Actually, I have myself set on just letting you read my journal. It seems as if that may be easier than having to retell all of the sordid details of my time here._

_Well, since you told me the truth about who you've loved, I guess it is time for me to do the same. I'll state the obvious. _

_I love Esme._

_She's my mom, how could I not? I also love you, maybe not so obvious. The more time and distance that comes between us I realize that the love I feel for you is not a platonic love, it's a love that I feel in my bones and mainly in my broken heart. It's just my luck that I've realized how much I truly feel for you and I can't even see your beautiful smile (hopefully you're smiling) as I'm telling you this. I think I've known for a couple of weeks, but I didn't know what to do with that kind of information. You are the most beautiful person I have ever met, physically, mentally and emotionally. Not a day goes by where I don't think of you, sometimes probably inappropriately by Charlie's standards. That's why I found that poem to remind me of you. You are beautiful, not just in a physical sense but in a way that everyone that comes in contact with you can see your beauty within. Enough with the sappiness. Okay, maybe just a bit more. The poem is "She Walks in Beauty" by Lord Byron. Here's the part that reminds me so much of you._

_ And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,_

_ So soft, so calm, yet eloquent, _

_ The smiles that win, the tints that glow,_

_ But tell of days in goodness spent,_

_ A mind at peace with all below,_

_ A heart whose love is innocent!_

_I hope this hasn't been too much for you. I also pray that you could possibly feel the same for a man like me. I know I'm not perfect and honestly I've done things that even piss myslf off, but I do know that no one on this earth will love you more than I do and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Please don't let your response take too long, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to handle the prerequisite week in between our letters. I'll be thinking of you and I DO love you, Isabella Marie Swan._

_Love,_

_Edward_

"Holy fucking shit! He loves me!" Bella yelled out loud.

To her it was more than that because he accepted her. On the downside she thought, he did not know how much she was already in love with him.

"What the hell was that noise?" Bella thought.

She couldn't bring herself to put her letter down as she jumped up from her perch in the chair. Bella realized with a startle that it was already 7:00 p.m. and she was not even ready. This was so not good for her. Not good at all.

"What the fuck do I care, though? Seriously?" Bella really needed to stop talking out loud to herself.

Bella was so ecstatic because the love of her life had just told her that he loves her, too. Her best friend who she never believed would see her as anything other, who recently she didn't even know she saw something more.

She rushed to the door and jerked it wide open with her letter still dramatically attached to her hands. Jake just stood there open mouthed as he took in Bella's attire.

"I'd ask if I was early and that's why you're not ready but I can see from your clock that I am in fact a little late. Am I missing something here, Bella?" he asked.

Bella couldn't help it. She was really not good in these type of situations. She just looked up at Jake and stared at him for a second before she could form a complete sentence in her mind. He really was beautiful she thought and he could do far better than her. What he did not realize about Bella was that her heart already belonged to a bronze hair, green eyed man who currently was thousands upon thousands of miles away and it had belonged to him longer that she had even realized herself.

"Um, Jake, I'm sorry. I'm not going to be able to go out tonight. Well, if I'm being honest I'm never going to be able to go out with you. You see," she was telling his shoes why she couldn't go out and he stopped Bella right there.

Jake reached out and grabbed Bella's chin and made her raise her brown eyes to meet his almost black ones. "I understand Bella, why didn't you tell me?" he asked as he pushed his empty arm out to signify the letter she was till holding to tightly.

"It's not like I didn't notice you hanging out at the mailbox everyday." He chuckled and shook his head.

"Jake, really, it's not like that. I mean, I guess it is but it's a really long story and I don't know if I have it in me to explain it all to you tonight." She tried to be as apologetic as possible even though Bella was dying for him to turn around and walk away. She just wanted to get back to her letter and responding to it.

"It's okay. I completely understand. I have a long story that I could share with you and I have a feeling we're in the same situation." He answered as his smile turned almost sad. At that point Bella almost said fuck it and invited him in but he stopped her before she could do so.

"How about this, we can meet for a drink after classes sometime soon and share our stories on a non-date date as friends? We could both use another friend I'm sure." He said as he was taking a step back from Bella's doorframe.

"You know what, Jake? That sounds really good. I could go after this next week is over. I have some really big tests coming up that I definitely need to study for. It would be a celebration of sorts after getting through them." Bella said with a true smile on her face.

"Okay then, it's a non-date date." Jake said as he was walking out of her door.

That was quite a bit easier than Bella had thought it would be. She figured that they did have some explaining to do between one another. It would also be nice for her to have someone to talk to other than Alice and Rosalie, Bella considered. They were too far into man bashing these days and she really hoped that one day they would meet someone who would knock them off of their own feet. Bella thought she was being a little selfish but she just wanted them to shut up sometimes. Rose needed someone who would actually stand up to her and Alice, poor Alice still believed that she would meet her soul mate very soon. Sometimes Bella wondered if she was all there up in that brain of hers.

She finally brought herself out of her inner musings as she like to call them but Edward just called it "quirky". Bella grabbed her notebook and pen to start writing to him. She couldn't wait to tell him how much he meant to her and that she truly loved him with all of her heart, too.

**April 29, 2009**

_"We're losing him. We need to evacuate this one."_

_"Same here, I can't get this bleeding to stop. Fuck, if we lose one more man over here, I just don't know."_

_"I don't know how he's survived with these injuries this long. Let's just be thankful to get them prepared for evac. The heli will be here soon to get them flown into Germany."_

_"Shit, this guy will be lucky if he ever walks again, that's for sure."_

_"I hope I got all of this shrapnel out of his shoulder. It could have been much worse for him. He's just lost so much blood."_

_"Lucky it didn't hit his chest. It left a big enough hole in his shoulder."_

_"I can't believe our three best medics have been taken out. Do you see the burns on this one's chest?"_

Snippets, that's all Edward was hearing. He fucking didn't know if they were talking about him or what, he had eventually decided. He knew he was still alive, he couldn't feel anything, but he could hear what they were talking about.

Edward had like where he was before he had begun hearing them speak. He wasn't sure what it was but it was Bella and himself in some sort of forest. To him it was heaven, a place where his mind took him to keep Edward from the hell that his body was currently going through. Shit, he thought, I just hope we all make it to Germany or whatever the fuck they had been talking about.

As soon as his mind closed off again, Edward saw her standing in front of him with her hand on her hip. Bella had never known how cute she was when she did that but he hadn't been able to tell her.

"Wait up Bella, I'm coming." Edward said to the figment as she ghosted across the grassy area.

Damn she was beautiful he couldn't help thinking as he smiled a glorious smile in return.


	10. Chapter 10

**Well, here is today's update. I'm not sure if I'm really happy with it or not but here it is. Been having some computer issues that are driving me crazy especially since my "e" key is now officially missing. The husband blames the kiddos and the kiddos blame the hubs. Thanks to all who read and reviewed last chapter! Definitely makes my day. So here goes...**

**We know I don't own it, S.M. does.**

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**Chapter 10**

**April 24, 2009**

As the sun started peeking through Bella's thin curtains surrounding her living room, she unfortunately realized that she was drooling profusely all over her notebook.

"Shit! I've ruined my letter!" Bella screamed.

She could not figure out how in the hell she fell asleep in that uncomfortable chair. Bella figured she was more tired than she initially thought she was. She tried dabbing the last of the drying saliva off of Edward's letter and figured that it wasn't too bad. It added character. He would get a kick out of that thought. They were already sharing saliva and they had not even seen each other in too long to count. It was only 6:30 a.m. and Bella's body felt so stiff that a good stretching session was in order. She was not naturally good at sports but she could stretch with the best of them. Both Bella nor Edward could ever come to the conclusion as to how she was able to run and not trip flat onto her face. Her first class was not until 11:00 a.m. and that would give Bella plenty of time to stretch, finish up her letter to Edward and get it mailed out before it began.

Stretching for an hour is good for the body and the soul, she thought. It was quite peaceful and provided plenty of time to either think or worry. Currently Bella was stretching away the remnants of her worrying over what Edward was doing and how he was. Theoretically she knew he was probably asleep or was headed in that direction but really it was hard to think about someone being that many hours different than you or even beginning a different day than you were. In the beginning it made Bella's head spin and that was something that she did not need help with in doing again.

She decided against crawling up into the chair of death again to finish her writing, so Bella headed into her bedroom to descend upon her bed. Out of everything in the apartment, this was her most favorite place to be and not just for the reasons that you can think of. She had spent a pretty penny on the mattress and she would swear that someday she would put that glass of wine on the right hand side while she jumped on the left just to see if it would move an inch.

The headboard was a different story, though. It had been a hand me down that Charlie had insisted Bella bring with her. It had been her Grandmother's and it was absolutely beautiful. There was some legend surrounding it that Bella never understood but it was completely hand made from wood that was found in the forest that engulfed their old home in Forks. Some sort of Indian Tribesmen had been making these when her Grandmother had stumbled upon their work in one of the local stores in town. As far as Bella could remember, she thought that there were only two stores in town, so who knows where she had actually bought it. None the less, Bella thought it was beautiful and it had become her safe haven for as long as she could remember and the nice ass mattress did not hurt, either.

It didn't take Bella too long before she was done with her letter. She placed it in an envelope with a stamp and headed to her closet to find her clothes for the day. It was a good day and she felt like actually dressing up a bit. Bella found a pair of her better jeans that were dark washed and skinny and paired it with a cream, thin sweater that she found in the back of her God forsaken closet. She ran towards the shower to jump in and realized that she was in a good mood this morning and that had definitely been a rarity as of late. Bella grabbed her makeup, which never was worn unless Alice or Rose were around and she headed back into the warmth of the water.

Taking a look in the mirror after she was finally dressed and ready to go, Bella noticed something about herself that she had never seen before. She looked good, she thought. Not supermodel good but something in her eyes made Bella want to keep whatever feeling she had going just so she continue looking this way. Feeling like that made up for the fact that she was currently running late, she realized.

Grabbing her letter to Edward, her backpack and keys, Bella ran out of the door and down the stairs and smack dab into Jake. Again.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where's the fire, Bella?" he laughed as he single handedly stopped her from flooring his ass again.

"Shit Jake. I'm so fucking sorry. I'm running late to class and need to drop this in the mail. I need it to get out today. Damn, this is just getting down right embarrassing." Bella took a chance to actually look up and closely at Jake. He seemed sad. There was something about his smile that did not seem right so that's when she stuck her foot in her mouth. Before she could think about what she was doing, Bella figuratively jumped ship.

"How about those drinks tonight, Jake? I sure could use a little something after the morning I've had." Bella said to what looked like an embarrassed Jake.

"That sounds good, Bells. I could definitely use a little alcoholic beverage in my life. How about 5:00 p.m. at the little pub about a block away from the University's library?" he asked her.

Bella agreed that it sounded great and that she'd meet him there at 5:00. There was something about Jake's mannerisms this morning that made her feel comfortable in her asking him to go. It was like he needed it and quite frankly, she did too. Bella knew there was a reason why a pub had opened up just down from the library and now she was going to actually make use of it.

"Well, I've got to run and you know what I've got to do. I'll see you soon." Bella said as she descended the rest of the stairway out into the courtyard of the apartment complex. She headed straight to the mailboxes and dropped her letter in and with a smile, Bella headed to her first class of the day.

"Alice, I can't go tonight."

"Fucking listen to me, Alice. I know, I know, I said I would but tonight I just can't."

"I've got plans with someone and no you don't know them."

"What?"

"I told you we will go out some other night."

"Yes, it's a guy and no I don't need condoms."

"Fuck, just listen. I'll call you later when I get home. Yeah, you too."

Fifteen minutes of Alice yelling at Bella and then acting all sickly sweet on the phone just to figure out what she was doing tonight. Sure she had told her that we all needed to get together but why was she so insistent on tonight, Bella thought. Hell, she never had plans with anyone else besides Alice and Rose and she just had to make them on the same night as her plans with Jake, Bella stomped her foot. The non-date, date! Bella had just enough time to get to the Pub after the day from Hell. All of her classes were having their finals early as it seemed the professors were just as eager to get out of school for the summer as the students. To Bella it just meant more studying, more cramming and less time to wait for Edward to come home to her. Come home to her, now that was something that could bring a million smiles to Bella's face.

As she walked into the crowded bar, Bella noticed that she had actually never stepped foot into this exact place. It seemed like a decent enough establishment filled to the brim with what she expected to be stressed out students she thought. She had to stifle a grin when she saw Jake waving from the back of the bar at a two top table. Well Hell, Bella thought, at least h was able to get a table. To her it looked as if she already had some catching up to do.

"How are you doing, Jake? Looks like you've been here for a bit. I hope I wasn't late, although that would be nothing new." Bella said to him as he eyeballed the television set that sat apparently right above her head.

"I'm okee dokee, artichoke." He grinned as he answered Bella, staring this time directly at her face.

They sat there for a few minutes in a comfortable silence before the waitress came to get Bella's order. She decided it would be a safe bet to go with a beer that she knew. Before she could get back to Bella with her drink, Jake had turned his attention directly to her.

"I'm in love with a woman who is so damn hard headed that she can't see past her own fucking nose." He said.

It took Bella a minute to understand what he was talking about and a lot of praying that he wasn't speaking of her.

"I mean, we've been together for years and she up and decides to take her next duty assignment in Germany. I'm not allowed to go because we aren't married and I was too chicken shit to ask her." Jake followed up as he laid his head on the table.

"Holy shit!" Bella said quietly.

She could not believe what he was saying. Bella gently patted him on his arm and he raised his head and smile. "You thought you were all fucked up, didn't you? It's nice to learn you aren't the only one, huh?" he smiled a small, timid smile.

Throughout the evening, many beers were drunk on both Jake and Bella's part. She learned that his whatever's name was Leah and that she had been in the Army as a nurse but her assignments had initially kept her stateside. Jake had been able to move around with her until this last one took her to Germany. He had chickened out on asking her to marry him and she had left without another word. Hell, he had actually flown over there to see her and didn't have the balls to interrupt her new life he saw. That's when he had decided to come back here and finish his degree. Bella even explained to him about her situation with Edward to which he responded, "Man, that's some fucked up shit."

Bella thought about it and she couldn't have said it better herself. She told him how they had met all the way through how they had figured out that they loved one another. Bella also told him of her fears and worry that he would be a different man when he returned home but that she would stick it out until he forcefully told her to leave. She loved the man that he was and would love the man he had become over there, she told him.

As the night drew to a close, Jake pulled Bella into a hug and thanked her for talking to him about everything. She explained to him that she had not told a soul about anything that had been going on recently with Edward and that it had been great opening up to someone about it. She thought that a great friendship had been forged throughout the evening and now Bella had someone she could talk to when things got rough, which she knew for a fact that they would. She even thought that Jake had finally decided to go to Leah to tell her how much he still loved her. He was already making plans to go during the summer after classes were over.

As Bella crawled into bed that night, her thoughts drifted from earlier that evening with Jake to Edward. She could see that friendship beginning with the big oaf that she kept physically running into and over and she could not wait to see Edward again and to look at his beautiful face when she told him she loved him for the first time in the flesh.

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**I should be back quickly with the next chapter. It's a short one but it's all Edward. Thanks again! (Please review) Begging is not beneath me... **

**Jen**


	11. Chapter 11

**This is a very short chapter that was needed. It's all Edward but I think a couple of you who told me "No Edward, no review" will be very happy with it. :) So it's early but it is also quite a bit shorter. Hope you guys enjoy!**

**We know I don't own it again but I figure I should keep telling you that.**

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**Chapter 11**

"Fucking Hell."

Edward did not even know what day it was.

He didn't even know where he was located.

All he did know was that he was on fire. Figuratively and literally. It was an all encompassing flame and it was burning him alive. He could hear the beeps from the machines over head and at last he knew his heart was still pumping and beating. Right now, he thought, it would almost be worth it if it would stop, there was just so much pain.

He remembered the blast but that was about it. Edward had thought he was okay. He didn't think he had been injured. Obviously, he figured out, that he was wrong in that assumption because there was something definitely going on with him.

"Fuck!"

He would give anything if someone would just make it all stop. There had to be a way to make this pain go away and go away quickly, he thought.

There was a rustling beside him but he couldn't even open his eyes to see who it was or where it came from. Edward's eyes felt as if they may actually have been crusted over from under usage.

All he could think about was how fucking had he been out?

His inner monologue continued on with its line of questioning that he knew he couldn't answer himself. Where are Jazz and Em? He tried opening his eyes again and his vision was really blurry. Blinking was a pain and his eyes were just so dry. He wanted to laugh because he may possibly have had thee Sahara Desert located behind his eyelids.

The only way he could explain it would be if you had crushed glass into tiny pieces and poured them into your eyes. That's how bad it felt to him. He believed it would have been a good torture tactic.

Edward had actually wondered to himself if anyone had ever used that. It definitely had to be more effective than water tortured. Definitely, he thought.

He tried moving his hand to rub his eyes but the blurry vision turned to talk to him.

"Try not to move SGT Cullen. The pain will be better if you just try not to move. I know you are confused right now and I'm going to try and explain everything as soon as you wake up a bit more. Just blink your eyes if you understand me." The blur said to him.

Edward blinked his eyes to her. He just wished he could see her better than what he could.

And the pain.

He couldn't believe how bad the pain was radiating through him.

It was radiating from the bottom of his stomach up to underneath his neck. He could barely feel his arms but somehow he knew they were there. Honestly, to him, they did not hurt as bad as his front half did.

He tried not to concentrate on the pain but that was almost impossible to block out.

"Holy. Fucking. Shit. I hurt." He thought.

The blur noticed that his heart rate was increasing, as did the rest of the hallway apparently because Edward heard several more people coming through his door. He guessed that the incessant beeping of the machines alerted everyone to his condition. He had not realized that his heart could race so fast and not physically explode.

One of them asked if he needed anything for the pain and to blink if he did. Of course Edward began blinking. He was hoping that it would do its job and knock him out. Edward wasn't sure he could handle being out for however long again, though.

He laid there as the blur rubbed his head. The next thing Edward remembered as he was moving in and out of consciousness was that she told him her name was Leah something. He couldn't bring himself to remember her fucking rank.

Edward heard who he assumed was the doctor speaking to the blur, he thought.

"We just got the big guy out of his first surgery and he seems to be in stable condition. The other one may not fare so well. Then again, we'll have to see where the paralysis is located after he wakes up." He said to Leah something another.

"I don't think SGT Cullen is ready to hear all of this right now. I do believe that you need to take your conversation outside of his room, Sir." Edward thought the blur replied.

That was all he could make out, however, because Edward couldn't hold onto consciousness any longer and he succumbed to the darkness again. He wasn't alone for too long, though.

He saw his dark haired beauty once more. She's the one that had gotten Edward through this far. He was certain of that.

Edward wasn't sure what he would have done without his thoughts of her. It was just a damn shame that Edward did not get Bella's response back to his last letter but at least he would be able to tell her that he loved her with all of his heart. At least he hoped that he would.

He hoped like hell that Jasper and Emmett were faring as well. Edward did not know what he would do if they didn't.

They had so many plans for when they returned home. It just would not be the same for them. Nothing would ever be the same, he thought.

Edward called out to Bella before she could run into the forest again. She turned around and waved and he took off for her in a sprint. It was amazing what your unconscious mind could come up with he amazingly thought. At least here, wherever he was, the pain was gone and his beautiful Bella was with him.

Maybe he would just stay there with her for awhile he pondered. It couldn't be too bad, especially if he had her with him.

"Come with me, love." His Bella said to him.

Who was he to deny the only woman he'd ever loved, he thought? He knew it wasn't real but he could dream, right?

"I'll be right there, baby. I promise. I won't ever leave again." Edward replied.

Edward thought, not on my life would he ever leave Bella's side again. Only the day she forced him away or she told him to leave would he walk away from her.

He began to pray to whatever God was out there that he came through this whole. He'd never be the same, he thought, but he didn't believe that Bella would hold that against him or he at least hoped not. Edward could only hope that she would see him the same way when he finally got to her again.

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**We're catching up to the point where I have written ahead to, so after the next couple of chapters the updates may come a bit slower because I am still writing them. Please let me know what you think!**

Jen


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm going to try to move to a once every week schedule depending on how busy things are getting in my neck of the woods. I know this one is short but this was a chapter that was needed. Take note of the date (again, I know). We should be coming to the point where they are both in the same time "stamp". Thanks to those who are reading and to those who have taken the time to review. I truly appreciate it!**

**We know I don't own it. Just figured I would tell you again in case you have forgotten... Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 12**

**May 7, 2009**

Thankfully for Bella over used brain finals exams were going to be completely over this week and her semester at college would be coming to a close.

"Thank fucking heavens," Bella thought to herself.

It was not as if any of her classes had been all that hard but not having Edward there with her had definitely put a damper on the good old moral at Casa de Swan. She had been trying not to think about Edward reading her last letter because really it could have been quite embarrassing for her. Bella hoped and prayed that he wasn't fucking with her with his last letter. She didn't think he would stoop that low but you never know how bored he really was over there. All she did know is that every time she thought about him and that damn last letter, something akin to a shudder ran through Bella and she would have to stop thinking about it all together.

It was a beautiful Monday and her finals were complete after she finished her test in Econ later that day. Rose, Alice and Bella were having a big night planned for Thursday evening beginning with getting their summer waxes, pedicures and on to the bar for beer thirty. It was not sounding like a lot of fun now that Bella was thinking about it. She was a bit put off by the whole waxing thing and it was taking on a new meaning when it wasn't just involving her eyebrows being yanked out by the roots. Alice had said that Edward would like it if and when Bella ever got to see him and that by getting it done so soon would ensure that she wouldn't break out into what Alice called a nasty "pimple like rash".

"Gross." Bella shuddered thinking about it.

She definitely would not want that if he was to see her hoohah anytime soon. Bella knew it was most likely all in her dreams but you could never be too sure.

It had been a weird and stressful week for Bella. She had a feeling of dread wash over her in Psychology class the week before and actually had to get up and walk out just to calm herself down. Apparently she had turned so pale that Bella scared the guy that sat next to her. He kept asking her if she was okay and Bella could not even answer him so she just got up and walked out. Unfortunately she had to go back in to grab her stuff and if that wasn't embarrassing enough, she just had to trip up on the empty desk that was on the other side of hers. Bella practically landed face first in that guys lap and if it had not haven for her hands racking his crotch, she would have. He turned a nice shade of green before he could waddle out of class himself. Alice was telling Bella it was just nerves from her exams and that she was just nervous about Edward. Bella just was not too sure.

Bella grabbed her hoodie and started heading for the door. She did not want to be late today for her lunch with Jake. He and Bella had started a friendship up and they always tried to see each other about once a week. Today was Jake's day to pay so she did not have to worry about anything except getting there on time. She finally had remembered to grab her keys so that she could lock the door up and as Bella was standing there contemplating if she had everything she needed, her phone in the apartment began blaring, ringing out through the silence.

It was there again. That eerie feeling that had plagued Bella all week long. She was going to leave, to actually try to get to the café' on time for once but at the last minute Bella took off running for the phone. She made it to the phone and with a huff of breath she answered, "Hello?".

She sat there for a minute and it sounded like crying on the other end. Bella started to say "Hello" again when a familiar voice came on the line.

"Bella, honey, is that you?" the voice from her childhood asked.

"Esme? Is everything alright? Are you crying? What's wrong? What's wrong with Carlisle?" Bella got out as quickly as she could.

"Bella, oh God, Bells." Esme said as she was crying hysterically at this point.

Bella did not know what to think. She knew that Esme and Carlisle had still been traveling to remote areas somewhere and something had to have happened. She knew it just could not be about Edward. Nothing could have happened to him, she thought. Edward was her heart, her everything so it most definitely could not be him. It had to be Carlisle, Bella continued with her line of thinking.

"Esme, tell me what happened to Carlisle," Bella stated as she could still hear her crying on the other end.

After a minute Bella heard rustling and a deeper, honeyed voice got onto the line.

"Isabella, honey, I'm sorry but," she cut him off before Carlisle could say anymore.

"No Carlisle, nothing's wrong. It can't be Edward. It has to be someone else. Tell me it's someone else." Bella started to beg him through her ever increasing tears. "It has to be, Carlisle. Just tell me it is."

"Bella, you need to calm down. Honey, Edward was badly injured but he is still alive," Bella heard him say as she dropped to her knees onto the floor. It was going to leave a bruise but at that moment she could only feel her heart breaking into two.

"This can't be happening, Carlisle. This can't be fucking happening! You have to tell me it's a lie. It's not real. We just got this far!" Bella started yelling into the phone.

"Bella, listen to me. Your dad and mom are on their way to get you sweetheart. They're going to bring you here. I need you to calm down. Is there anyone you can call to come and stay with you until they get there? It won't be until early tomorrow morning but they will be on their way." He said but to Bella his voice sounded so distant.

She finally answered him and said she could call somebody. Her voice didn't even sound like her own. Edward was hurt. He was hurt so badly and possibly could have died. It was just too much for Bella. She had to know, though. She had to know what had happed so Bella had asked.

Carlisle was trying to soothe Esme as he recounted what he had been told. He sounded so clinical in his explanation but Bella assumed that when you are a doctor that is how you get through times like these. This was his son. He knew Bella was hurting and trying to stay strong for both Bella and Esme. That was when she decided that it didn't matter. He was alive and Bella was going to stand by him no matter what.

He continued on and said that the Army had not given him much information regarding what had really happened but he and two others had been struck by a road side bomb. They were stabilized enough in the field and were flown out to somewhere in Germany. This had been a week ago and they were just finding out. Bella could not fucking believe that Edward had been injured for over a week and no one had known.

Edward was in a drug induced coma while his body healed up enough on its own to fight away the infections that could possibly set in so that he could be moved back to the United States to the military hospital in Washington, D.C. The burns to his body were severe and being in the coma was the only thing that would help to keep his pain level down. Carlisle tried to explain everything to Bella in a way that she could and would be able to understand.

She eventually hung up from Carlisle with dread in her heart. Looking at the clock, Bella realized that she was already an hour late for meeting Jake but right now that didn't seem to matter. She was so lost in her own mind that she didn't even hear Jake knocking on the wide open door. Apparently when she had not answered he got concerned came running in.

"Bella! Bella! Are you in here? Please fucking be here!" Jake pleaded.

Bella was laying on the floor with the phone cradled tightly to her chest when Jake found her.

"Oh God, B, what happened? You have to tell me what's wrong. I don't know what to do. I was so worried when you didn't show up," she couldn't let him finish before she just let out one word that said it all.

"Edward."

Jake grabbed her and ripped the phone out of her hands and dialed Rose who apparently in turn was told to call Alice and to get over to Bella's place as soon as they could. He told them they needed to be there as of yesterday.

Jake was rocking Bella as she was sobbing into his chest. Finally she had cried so much that she just needed to go to sleep. That's exactly what she did.

When she woke up it was to the sounds of Alice and Rose whispering across to one another with her in the middle as all three of them were lying in Bella's bed. How she got there, she was not to sure about but she was glad that she did.

"Rose, do you think she's going to be okay? I've never seen her react this way. I knew she loved him. I told you she did." Alice said before Rose cut her off.

"Allie, cut the shit out! You're going to wake her up and she definitely needs to sleep as much as she can." Rose whisper yelled to Alice.

Bella rolled over onto her back and took one look at Alice and Rose and that was all it took before they both had crashed against her in the tightest hug possible. She felt as if they were the only things holding her together at this point.

Bella really hoped that Edward wasn't feeling anything. She hoped that he had someone there holding him together. Bella could only wish it was her. The girls and the dreams she was having of him were the only things that were keeping the broken pieces of her heart bound as one.


	13. Chapter 13

*****Sorry I had to re-post this chapter. A wonderful reader two very big name mistakes on my part and well, that's why you do not read and write while dealing with your children and their friends. The reader knows who she is and it is appreciated so much!*****

**Well, I'm back this week. This is a shorter chapter again but it is keeping the story moving. We'll hopefully get to meet up with Edward's parents the next chapter. Hopefully. Thanks to all who have read and reviewed. I tried to answer all reviews but if I missed you I am truly sorry! I enjoy reading them and I am so happy and thankful that people are actually enjoying this. Enjoy!**

We all know I do not own this nor would I want to. Too much responsibility for my addled mind. Thanks S.M. for letting me turn an already hot Edward into an extraordinary hot soldier Edward.

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**Chapter 13**

Time seemed to pass very slowly as Bella waited for her parents to arrive. Alice and Rose had been holding her together for what she felt like was forever but was probably an hour in reality since they had arrived to pick Bella up off of the floor. Alice was concerned with Bella's lack of response to anything or anyone and tried to get Rose's attention.

"What the fuck, Alice?" Rose glared at the tiny girl that had punched her rather inhumanly strong in the arm.

"Do you think she's okay? I mean she's been sitting in that damn chair staring into friggin' outer space since she woke up." Alice asked.

The girls were sitting at the kitchen table trying to figure out what to do for their new best friend. Neither had ever been through a situation similar to this. Rose could barely even remember when her father was actually in the service.

Rose shook her head before she spoke quietly so that Alice could only hear, "I don't know. Maybe we should try and get her to drink some tea at least. I don't think she's actually ready to eat yet."

Alice set about finding Bella's tea bags and cups. When she came out to meet Rose in the living room she was carrying a tray full of mugs she had found inside the cabinet. Alice was paying no attention to Rose quietly laughing at her little friend. Rose gently got up from where she was sitting on the couch and wordlessly touched Bella's shoulder to get her attention. Both friends could not get over how much Bella had deteriorated since the phone call about Edward. They had decided to travel with her and her parents to the hospital because Alice had one of her feelings that Bella would need them to get through this trying time.

Bella had finally turned her head towards Rose and took the poorly made tea from her. She was in no mood to drink it but she hoped that the cup would warm her too cold hands. If she had felt better she would have had to laugh at her friends' attempt at being domesticated. Out of the three of them she was the only one who could boil water without burning it, she thought.

After a short nap in her chair and a few non-restful and uneventful hours there was a knock at the door. Alice jumped up from where her and Rose had passed out together sometime during the night. Bella did not move so Alice wiped the drool from her face and went to answer the door.

She had barely pulled the latch open before she was bowled over by whom she presumed to be Mrs. Swan, Bella's mom.

"Where's my daughter? Where is she?" Mrs. Swan asked as she came into the small hallway. "Oh! I'm sorry I didn't mean to," she fell silent when she caught sight of Bella's slight form in the chair across the room. She let out a massive sigh and quite possibly a grunt as she pushed past Alice.

None of the commotion had woken Rose up who was still snoring away on the couch. In a different situation this would definitely have been considered uncomfortable, Bella thought.

As Alice waited at the door for Mr. Swan to carry their bags up the stairs she realized how much Bella resembled her mother. They both had the same petite build and what could only be described as "special" hair but the eye color was definitely different. Where Bella's eyes were a deep brown, her mother's were a crazy blue color. One you could describe as psychedelic in nature, Alice internally smiled. It had different stripes of colors within it to where you would think she had in contacts. Alice could not help but want to ask Mrs. Swan about this but figured it probably should wait.

Mr. Swan nodded his head politely as he passed Alice through the door. Unlike his wife, he seemed very quiet, especially upon his entrance. Alice went over to Rose and tried to wake her gently. When that did not work she had to find a new tactic. Alice did not want Rose to make an ass of herself as she was only known to do. Alice politely excused herself from the room to go in search of her phone. She discretely dialed Rose's number and laughed as she snorted before waking up to answer her friend's call. Only Mr. Swan knew what had occurred between his daughter's two interesting friends and he quietly snickered while huddled down in the corner of the entranceway.

Bella's mother, not so stealthily, made her way to where her daughter sat unmoving. She did not know if she was awake or asleep. She only knew that Bella needed her at this moment. Renee' practically ran to her and scooped Bella into a bone crushing hug. She was not an overly large woman but somehow in this instance she managed the strength to scoop up Bella place her back down into her own lap.

Once Rose was up and moving she joined Alice and the man she presumed to be Charlie Swan by the door frame peeking in at Bella and her mother. Rose felt as if she were intruding on the moment and not so politely grabbed Alice and moved around into the small kitchen.

"Well, I guess we need to make some tea and make sure her parent have food. We need to pack and grab Jake so we can leave as soon as possible," Rose rambled on while Alice listened.

Alice just stood and stared at her oldest friend because she could never have imagined that the cool and calm Rosalie to produce so much word vomit at once.

"Rose, please, honey, don't take this the wrong way but sit down and shut up." Alice said as she smile to her friend while nonchalantly glancing over her shoulder.

Alice knew it would be fine. She felt it in her soul. No one believed her when she felt like this but they would see, she thought to herself. Unbeknownst to Rose, she had already packed for the three of them, including Bella, texted Jake telling him to pack his shit and come on over, got a map and directions to the hospital and had already made the tea.

Rose sat stunned into her chair as Jake made his way through the front door of the apartment much to the dismay of Bella's father. Thankfully they would be travelling in two separate vehicles as to hopefully keep Jake safe from the onslaught of questions from Renee' and Charlie about his relationship with their daughter. Alice had tried to think of everything.

The three of them went back to the living room with the tea and donuts in their hands. As they approached, Renee' smiled and offered her thanks.

"Thank you all for taking care of my baby girl. I guess we'll let her call you when we get there if she wants. We should be leaving as soon as we can to get to Edward and his family," Renee' continued on without looking at her husband's face and the looks on the three others within the room.

Here Charlie had brought all of their stuff up and now she wanted to leave. He was muttering to himself about some crazy woman when Alice turned to Renee'.

"You don't have to have her call us, Mrs. Swan." Alice spoke.

Everyone turned except Bella to look at her in shock.

"We will be going with you all to make sure she is okay as well and to help out with anything that we can." She finished.

Rose visibly relaxed as she realized what Alice was doing. Mrs. Swan had something coming to her if she thought that Alice, Rose and Jake were not coming with them.

Bella had not stirred once through all the conversation and commotion going on around her. In her head she knew she had to get to Edward and soon. I did not matter to her that she would have a caravan of family and overbearing friends coming along with her. Before they could walk out the door, though, she remembered one thing she wanted from the top of her close that she had forgotten was in there. It was her "Army Mom" hoodie that Edward had to get her as a joke and the baseball that had made this new love a possibility all of those years before.

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**Hope you enjoyed. Let me know with a review :)**

Jen


	14. Chapter 14

**We're back where we left off. I know the chapters are short but somehow that seems to fit this story. Thanks again to all who are reading and reviewing. I truly appreciate it. Let me know what you think. Reviews are like chocolate on sale after Valentine's Day :) Thanks!**

Disclaimer: We know I don't own it and I've told you countless times who does. Thanks to S.M. for letting me play...

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**Chapter 14**

While the traveling caravan of fools had been uneventful on the ride to the hospital where Edward was located, Bella could not find it in herself to calm down enough to sleep. She had ridden with her mother and father while Jake rode with Rose and Alice in Alice's SUV. Of course Rose being Rose took control of the vehicle early on and drove the entire way from Boston to D.C., to no one's immediate surprise.

Even Bella's mom's incessant talking and Charlie's lingering glances and overall quiet ease, Bella had not spoken a word the entire way. Her only thoughts revolved around everything she would need to do in order to help Edward out through the course of his recovery whatever that entailed. She had no idea as to what she was walking into but her mind was able to conjure up some mighty fine scenarios.

She finally shook herself from the God awful thoughts that plagued her mind when she noticed the car stop at the front entrance to the hospital. From there she did not know where they needed to go but she knew in her heart that Carlisle and Esme were not far away. As her father and Rose began parking their vehicles, Bella began feeling the anxious creep over her entire being. As if her mother instinctively knew, Renee turned around and gave her daughter a watery, glassy eyed smile that did not fully reach her eyes.

"No matter how things may appear when we get in here he is still your Edward, Bella." Renee whispered.

"I know mom, but I can't help feeling as if we are walking into something terrible, something non of us will know how to handle," Bella responded sounding very much like she was already partially dead inside. It seemed to match how she was feeling, Bella thought. She could not even recognize her own voice as she spoke the words aloud that she had been feeling to her soul the entire time since the ominous phone call that she had received from Carlisle only a few hours before.

Bella slowly rose from the car to see that Carlisle was at the front hospital door waiting for them. What Carlisle had not realized was how many people were with her to come sit and wait with his son. As soon as Bella put her shaky walls into place they suddenly shattered and came tumbling down around her while she ran from Alice and Rose's sides to fall into Carlisle's awaiting arms.

"Shh, baby girl. It will be okay. Edward is here and is resting," Carlisle whispered into her hair attempting to get Bella to calm her tears.

Charlie had somehow snuck up behind them and Carlisle placed his hand out to shake Charlie's.

"Carlisle, I'm sorry to have to see you under these circumstances like these but," Charlie spoke gruffly.

Bella had not seen her father this visibly upset since his own mother had passed away. Carlisle leaned over Bella and grabbed a surprised Charlie into a somewhat manly hug. Charlie's eyes grew wide as Renee' came to Bella's side snickering at the sight of two old friends hugging in the middle of the doorway.

The light mood only lasted long enough for Alice, Rose and Jake to appear and join them. It was sobering to know why they were actually there and Bella proceeded to interrogate Carlisle about Esme's location.

"She's asleep in the waiting room outside of the ICU/Burn Unit," Carlisle answered.

"What do you mean the friggin' burn unit!" Bella questioned a stunned Carlisle.

She was infuriated that no information had been given to her. Bella felt a little childish standing there hands on her hips like an overgrown toddler but she had to know what had happened to Edward. Bella proceeded to tell Carlisle that she deserved to know what had happened to Edward and that she was going to find them if they did not tell her.

Renee' intervened when even her friends were becoming a little embarrassed by her outburst in the parking lot.

"Honey, I'm sure Carlisle and Esme will explain everything to you but right now, out here in the open is really not the place." Renee' soothingly spoke to Bella as she ran her hands over her daughter's arms.

Bella reluctantly agreed and proceeded to follow Carlisle into the hospital cafeteria. She could not believe that he was not taking her to Edward directly but decided against yelling at her "other" dad, again.

Carlisle went to awaken Esme and to bring her down so that everyone could speak while the rest of them were left to their own devices. Jake finally spoke up and suggested that he was going to find them a place to stay that night since they had left so quickly and had not had the foresight to do so. Not even Alice, the queen of planning, had thought of this.

With that, he left with his cell phone in hand and a phone book that the cafeteria manager politely handed out to him with a small smile and wave. Charlie got up in enough time to slyly hand Jake his credit card without anyone the wiser with a warning look of it better be two hotel rooms and the men would be bunking together.

Carlisle and Esme quietly arrived back a few minutes later and the tiny woman practically tackled Bella before she could stand.

"Oh, darling, girl. I am so glad you are here. You have to know Edward will love you being here when they finally wake him up," Esme stopped speaking abruptly as Carlisle placed his hand on her delicate shoulder.

"Perhaps we should take a seat so we can explain to everyone about what has been going on. Plus, I believe Bella has a couple of introductions to make as well. Don't you, dear?" Carlisle spoke with the authority only a doctor could.

Bella had completely forgotten that no one really knew Alice, Rose and Jake outside of herself and now her parents who had taken to the newcomers as Bella had initially. After a quick round of introductions an anxious silence fell over the entire group.

"I need to know what happened and I need to know what's wrong and how I can fix it," Bella whispered.

At this point Carlisle and Esme were silently holding hands. Esme and Renee' both had tears streaming down their faces while everyone else looked everywhere but at the situation at hand.

Bella was simmering. She could not figure out why no one would answer her question. Jake had slipped back into the group after making their reservations and had just began to slide into his chair when Bella started yelling.

"Damn it! What the fuck aren't you telling me!" she yelled as she slammed her tiny fist into the table.

This took everyone by surprise as empty coffee cups and water bottles went flying. Alice was the only one who dared to respond as Carlisle and Esme held one another as tightly as possible.

"Bella, hon, you need to really calm down. We're all wanting to know and I know you love him but you have to be patient,' she whispered as she pulled Bella into the chair with her. Alice, continued to hug Bella as she ungracefully slid in between her and Rose.

"We are the only two that they are allowing to go into the front enclosed station of his room at this point and that's only when they say we can, darling." Esme said.

When she turned to take Bella's hand across the table, Bella finally saw the sadness and extreme exhaustion across Esme's normally beautiful and flawless face.

"Esme, tell me." Bella finally whispered in complete resignation.

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**We're starting to get somewhere hopefully. It's a long road ahead for these two, physically and mentally for everyone. The lives of soldiers and their families are forever changed during and after a deployment, especially when there are injuries involved. Thanks again for reading!**

**Jen**


	15. Chapter 15

**I'm back feeling like I've been run over by own humvee. Somehow the kids have given me the funky head cold they've had :( pardon any mistakes in typing, I tried to catch them all but with all of the sneezing going on here, well let's just say that it took awhile. Thanks for reading and reviewing. I truly appreciate them all!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. We know who does and thankfully S.M. let's us play around with the characters.**

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**Chapter 15**

From that point on in the evening, the entire group including Jake and the girls, listened intently while Carlisle had to separate himself from the fact that he was talking about his very own flesh and blood child and went into explanation about what little he knew about the entire situation. Bella quickly learned he really did not have a lot of information regarding how this had happened to the men.

IEDs, blown up Humvees, all three medics, burns, paralysis and blunt force trauma was more than enough of an explanation to throw Bella into a complete and utter tailspin. Carlisle sat in his detached state explaining to her and the rest of closely and quickly formed group about what had really occurred. Edward was badly burnt and was continuing to be kept under sedation while Jasper may never walk again. Emmett, Bella realized, faired better than the other two with having extreme damage to his upper torso and shoulder, if you could really call it that she thought.

Bella grappled with the pain that shot through her entire being. She had to find him, touch him and see for herself that he was in fact still alive.

"Carlisle, I need to see him. What room is he in? You have to take me to him now." Bella said as she continuing to stare blankly into space.

"I can't do that yet, Bella. He is not allowed visitors, not even Esme and I can see him completely. They cannot take a chance of infection while his burns are so fresh. I am so sorry, honey, but I just cannot do it." Carlise responded as he finally placed his face in his hands and let his grief come through.

Bella was not pleased by this answer and abruptly stood to leave. Before she could take the first step, Jake grabbed her solidly and started to rock her back and forth soothing the animal that was getting ready to show herself towards anyone who stood between her and Edward.

"Jake. Let. Me. Go. Now!" Bella growled at the large man that she was currently engulfed by.

"I can't do that right now, baby girl. We have to wait until he is more stable before you bust in there and go all momma bear on them." Jake sighed as he kissed the top of her head.

Bella began to furiously pound her tiny fists into Jake's massive chest as the tears of resignation began to fall. As soon as these tears were seen, Alice and Rosalie joined Jake in holding the remaining pieces of Bella together.

The two sets of parents had to turn themselves away from the onslaught of emotion before it triggered their own barrage of tears.

"So," Charlie began, "tell me what you know about the other two medics that were involved."

Carlisle cleared his throat and reigned in his emotions but before he could speak a very quiet and calm Esme began for him, "Well, the other two guys are about Edward's age but are not as lucky as he is from the family and new friends standpoint," she stated while bowing her head in thanks to the group that remained huddled around Bella.

Esme continued on explaining to them about the other guy's histories and by the end Rene' was wiping her eyes and Charlie was furiously pulling at his mustache. She told them how she felt as if the other two needed all of their support as much as Edward did since Emmett's parents were deceased and Jasper had grown up in the system moving from home to home. By the time Esme had finished going over the guys' histories and current situations everyone surrounding her were listening intently and formulation their own plans to help them out as well.

"You mean they have no one?" Alice asked meekly while standing behind a hulking Jake.

"Yes dear you are correct, they have no one. So I figured," Esme began but before she could finish Alice had come up to the front of the group and had gone into full planning mode.

"That means that Rose and I will need to divide up to see what we can do for them. First, though, we need to see if we can even get them to talk to us and then find out what they like and what they are actually allowed to have," Alice was going on and on.

Bella threw herself back into a chair between the two men in her life that she viewed as her fathers. She could not help the smile that crept across her face when she thought about their differences. So many fond memories of growing up with them came to Bella's mind. There were really more than she could count. Bella snuck over to Charlie's shoulder while he spoke quietly with Carlisle and he gently placed his arm around her and in a rare show of affection, Charlie leaned over to kiss Bella's forehead.

"You okay, kid?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine dad. Just overwhelmed, you know? Too many red tapes and shit, I mean stuff, that you have to cross just to see him. Well, I guess them now that Esme has taken in the other two." Bella sighed and fell more into her father's tightening embrace.

Carlisle and Esme both stood up and reached out for Bella.

"Come on honey, I know you are itching to get as close to Edward as you can," Esme said while grabbing for Bella's hand.

The entire group stood and followed Bella and Esme who were still hand in hand going towards the elevators. Bella decided to just let go and allow for her family to lead the way just this one time.

Esme and Carlisle both explained again that they could not see him but there was a possibility to see Emmett and Jasper. Bella understood but she was really not happy about it. She would not be leaving Edward anytime soon so she would leave the other two up to the fully competent Alice and Rose.

As the elevator began to open, Bella held her breath not knowing what to expect. What she saw was more than she could even truly believe. All down the halls were room after room filled with injured and gravely wounded soldiers. All rooms were semi or completely locked down dependent on injuries Bella assumed. She watched as doctors and nurses in full coverage walk out of one room, strip down and wash off to go right next door only to scrub back in and redress to enter that room.

"Shit," was all Bella could mumble aloud.

Esme led them all to the family's waiting room where the entire group all seemed to collapse in unison. No one moved. Nothing was said. For hours.

Charlie finally decided he should get everyone to the hotels to get a little rest for what he knew was going to be forever in the mind of his only child. His daughter.

"Well, I guess we should head over to the rooms, guys. There is nothing we can do right now and you all must be exhausted. Come on Bells." Charlie said.

"No." to a room of silence, it seemed to echo off of the walls.

"No, dad, I'm not leaving. I'll be fine here and Esme needs to get some rest, too. I'll stay so everyone can go." Bella whispered.

Charlie was stunned into silence but before he could respond, Jake stood and stated that he would stay with Bella so that she would not have to be staying by herself and mainly so no one would worry over her being alone. Even though he had just met the Cullen's, he could see how tired they actually were through their eyes. The dark circles were very prominent on their pale faces. He could not imagine going through this as a parent.

Renee' knew an argument was futile and she grabbed Charlie's arm before he could start. He finally conceded to Bella and wrapped her into a hug before they could all leave.

"Bells, if you need anything you call me. We are right across the street and we can be here within a split second," Charlie whispered in her ear.

"I will be fine, dad. I promise." Bella could only whisper back to him while she was trying to keep a new round of tears at bay.

Alice and Rose piped up explaining that they would be over in the morning with supplies for the day. Teary eyed, they hugged a tired Bella and then moved onto Jake telling him that they would have his balls on a silver platter if she was hurt further.

After everyone had dispersed and left the building, Jake ushered Bella back to a chair so that she would finally sit down and hopefully rest.

"Well, that was interesting to say the least. I think your friends just threatened my manhood," Jake said and winced in mock pain.

"Thanks for staying, Jake. You did not have to do this. I appreciate not being alone, though." Bella said as she stifled a yawn.

"Go to sleep, Bells. I'll let you know if anything happens," Jake said.

She shook her head as she yawned again. Bella finally relented and fell asleep in a chair of the waiting room somewhere outside of Edward's room. During the entire time he had been gone, she had never felt further away from Edward than she did now even though they were in the same building, located on the same floor.

Bella dreamt of nothing that night. Complete and utter darkness. She could not help to think as she was dozing off that this is how her life would be with Edward being a part of it.

Nothing.

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**Thanks again for reading. I hope you all are continuing to enjoy this as much as I am. We're getting closer to them seeing one another again. Yay! **

**Jen**


	16. Chapter 16

**Well we're back with another installment. I am to the point of what I had pre-written. I hope that I am able to continue updating weekly but you know how real life goes, especially with kiddos going in every direction. I wanted to get this posted because we have a crazy winter storm headed our way. If you are in the line of fire, stay safe and keep warm! I'm beginning to hate KY weather but I should be used to it by now. Welcome to the state! Thunder this morning, ice and snow this evening. Ready for Spring and Summer. Anyway, thanks for reading and hanging in there with me.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight but I am thankful for S.M. letting me play with the characters. Without further ado...**

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**Chapter 16**

Bella awoke with a groan on her lips that she battled to keep in and to herself. She did not know how long she had eventually slept but it was obviously daylight outside when she look around and the sun was poring into the room. She began stretching her tired and sore body in her chair trying not to awaken the man who had begun loudly snoring beside her sometime during the night. As she stared at the sleeping Jake, Bella could not help but to feel guilty about the joy that she had found in her new friends. Bella's guilt somehow stemmed from the fact that she never in the world would have met them had Edward not gone off to war and that did not settle well with her. She would not wish war on anyone but she did not know what she would have done without Alice, Rose and Jake.

Lost in thought, Bella did not realize that Alice and Rose had materialized out of nowhere into the middle of the somewhat vacant waiting room.

"Good morning, hon. We brought you some tea since Esme has mentioned more often than not that the hospital's tasted like piss water," Rose said by way of explanation of the expensive tea she shoved into Bella's face. She could not imagine paying $5.00 for a cup of tea but if this was a treat from Rose, she was all for it right now. Bella kind of wondered if there was a scone to be found in that bag of Rose's as well but thought better than to ask. She did not want her stomach to revolt against the food and waist the $5.00 cup of tea.

After her internal musings, Bella giggled at her beautiful friend, who apparently woke up looking that damn good, because she had a feeling that comment about the tea was all Rose since Esme would never dare to say "piss water" in common conversation. Unfortunately or fortunately depending on how you looked at it, the girls had not been quiet enough with their bantering. This was especially so when Alice had bounded over and plopped down next to Bella. The next thing they knew the grizzly bear had awoken from his sleep and was none too happy to be awake. It seemed as if Jake did not like to be woken up.

She began to feel the guilt creep upon her again like unseen claws that wrapped around her heart. Bella could not help to feel terrible about the fact that her three dear friends were suffering along with her, especially after she eyed the deep purple bruises that lined all of their eyes. Well, everyone except Rosalie of course, she thought with a hint of laughter on her face. That laughter disappeared quickly.

"I, I, I'm so sorry you all." Bella sniffled without reservation. "I never meant for you guys to have to put up with my crazy ass shit at home and then have to deal with all of this with me." She finished by waving her arms all around and not even worrying with disguising the tears that had begun to fall.

"Oh, shit. Suck it up Bells. If you say you are sorry again I will fucking force you to a day of shopping and mani/pedis indefinitely that includes whenever and wherever I would like them," Alice smiled evilly as she spoke.

Jake chimed in, "We would not be here if we did not want to be so stop your apologizing."

Rose looked bored at this point picking at her perfectly painted and perfectly sculpted nails. She looked up and spoke, "You know I would not be here if I did not want to be but Bella, you have got to be strong for Edward so the tears and apologies need to stop now. Get over it. We love you. Period."

The three women and Jake ended up in a painfully squeezing hug courtesy of the smallest individual there, Alice. Bella did not know how long they had stood in the waiting room before a gruff throat scratching came from the corner by the door. She knew the sound right off and turned to see her father, the owner of the said scratchy throat, along with her mom, Esme and Carlisle standing behind him with smiles on their faces.

No one really knew what to say so they all took up residence in one of the uncomfortable waiting room chairs that did not conform to anyone's body. How any hospital could believe that these chairs would help the families cope with the tragedies that they were facing were full of shit and only trying to save a dime, Bella thought. Her small frame barely fit into the chair so she knew that Jake and the other men could not have been faring any better than she.

After a moment of silence, Carlisle began to speak.

"Okay kids, as you know, Esme and I have somehow taken in two more children and I use that term lightly because we know you all are of the adult age. This was done by way of Edward's two friends who were injured along with him. We may not get to go to Edward every time that we would like to but we can let you all meet Emmett and Jasper if you would want so we can make things easier on them and their recovery," he continued.

Come to find out, the other two guys were residing in the two rooms next to Edward's which seemed so close but so far away. Bella was really anxious to even be in the same vicinity as he was without seeing him but she was being pulled in her heart to at least help someone.

Alice began bringing out bags of stuff from somewhere around her. Bella had no idea where the items came from but it looked to be things like books, music, notebooks, pens, and everything in between. Bella thought she even saw cookies in one of the bags. Only Alice could have forgone important things like sleep and rest to make sure that these items were perfect, Bella thought.

"I may have been a bit presumptuous but I figured maybe the guys might like some of these. I also may have put together items for you all as well but if you do not like them please do not worry about it. I just thought it may help get through the days that we'll be here," Alice said as she became aware of everyone's eyes on her.

Those who knew Alice laughed and the adults just stared at her with pride. Alice was made a little uncomfortable by this but somehow she just knew that one of these items would get through to one of the guys they were going to see. It was just another one of Alice's quirks that Bella had begun to love even though it freaked her out a bit. It was like having a living and breathing Eight Ball.

Carlisle pulled Bella to the side," Are you okay with doing this? I know it is going to be difficult but I spoke to Edward's doctor before we came in here and they should be bringing him out of the coma within the next two days."

"I'll be fine, Carlisle. I have to be. That means we take care of Emmett and Jasper until then. I wanted to ask you about how long his recovery is going to be," Bella said as she was standing underneath Carlisle's arm.

"I will not lie to you, Bella, but I do not want you thinking this is going to be an easy recovery. Once the grafts take place, if they take, it will take hours of physical and occupational therapy for him to gain use of those parts again because his body has not been moved since the accident. It could take awhile and I know that he is going to have trouble with not being the strong one. Please do not take offense if he goes into his head as he has been known to do, to get through this. You know he loves you." Carlisle finished with a sad smile on his virtually unmarred face.

Bella could not help thinking to herself that she would take him anyway that she could get him and even if he was different she would still be there for this man.

**Somewhere down the hall…..**

Bright light can man many things to different people. At this point Edward could only associate the light with pain. To him it was not all too bad because he knew ultimately that he was alive no matter what shape he was in.

Well, at least part of the time was not too bad. The other times he was begging God to take him because the pain was so terrible. It was a vicious cycle between full on begging and pleading for and against his life.

He had heard stories before of people being lucid while in a coma. What he did not realize himself was that he would hear outside voices as well. Edward knew the first and only time that they allowed his mother and father into his room that his prognosis must be bad. All Esme did was cry while she sat beside him and Carlisle read through his charts constantly to ensure that he was being treated well and treated correctly.

All was good until Esme talked about Bella being on her way to him. Of all times for Edward to need to be awake and he could not seem to get that way. In his mind he was flailing and burning in pain but after he stopped fighting the all consuming darkness the pain disappeared.

Edward tried again to regain consciousness but it was as if there was a blanket being pressed onto and into him. The blanket he realized was the calm darkness and the darkness meant no excruciating pain and no pain was good he concluded.

Some time later, in all reality it could have been minutes or days because Edward had no concept of time at this point but he knew one thing for sure. He could feel her. Bella was here and he knew it, felt it with everything in his bones that she was close by. Edward also knew he could not go to her until the fucking blanket was gone but he could feel his hear soar knowing that Bella was near.

Edward thought, "Maybe later. I'll wake up later."

The darkness swooped in and took the pain along with his thoughts under the blanket again.

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**Thanks again for reading and please let me know what you think! **


	17. Chapter 17

**We're back at it today! Thankful I got this finished within the week. Today's my birthday and all I've done is run kids here and there to various practices and tournaments. Not that I'm complaining but it was nice to do this for myself :) Thanks for reading and I apologize if I didn't get back to your reviews. They are very much appreciated! Thank you for taking the time to read and hopefully enjoy this version of Bella and Edward. **

_Disclaimer: We all know I do not own Twilight but I'm thankful S.M. let's us play with them!_

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**Chapter 17**

Bella did not know where to begin. She knew she needed to busy herself with something for fear that she may lose what was left of the rest of her mind to worry.

"Well, Carlisle, who do I get the pleasure of meeting first?" Bella asked.

"I figured we could split up and go meet the guys. If you want, you, Rosalie and Renee' can come with me to sit with Emmett while Alice, Charlie, Jake and my Esme can go to Jasper." Carlisle said while observing the facial reactions of the others to know what they were thinking even if they did not say it out loud. The last thing he wanted to do was to make someone uncomfortable by the situation they were in.

Bella was fine with that scenario. While everyone readily agreed to the plan of action, Jake spoke up and said that he was going to head downstairs to call his family and that he would be back to meet the rest of them later. This did not shock Bella at all. She knew he was a bit uncomfortable with all of this due to Leah but she also knew he would stay if she had asked him to. With a sad smile and a small wave goodbye, Jake made his way by himself downstairs to the cafeteria where he hoped to get a few moments alone.

Jake did not have a problem with helping out but he could not beat the feeling of being in the way. The girls' were Bella's best friends and while he considered Bella and himself to be close, he did not want to put her into a situation where she had to defend her friendship with him to anyone. Not to Emmett or Jasper and especially not to Edward when he finally woke up. Jake also knew his problems lied amongst his thoughts of Leah. God he missed her, he thought to himself. If only he could know she was okay and away from all of this shit his friend was currently going through because of the Army. Hence the phone call to his family. He tried not to ask all of the time if his rez friends had heard from her but sometimes they would know what he needed to hear and give up the information freely.

Carlisle smiled and gently guided Bella and their crew to Emmett's room on down the hallway. Before they entered, Carlisle gave them a brief rundown on Emmett's injuries. Something about extreme shoulder damage due to fragments of something and something else that Bella could not fully understand. She did grasp that while his injuries were terrible unto themselves, they still were not as bad as Jasper's or even Edward's own injuries. He apparently was the lucky one in this whole debacle. Bella had a twinge of jealousy shoot through her that quickly turned to guilt for even feeling that way in the first place.

Carlisle told the group that they had put Emmett and Jasper in side by side rooms because of their lack of families plus Carlisle may have tried to pull some strings on keeping his son's best friends together so that they could lean on one another through treatment and therapy. This little bit of information made Bella feel really shitty at that point for her previous moment's thoughts towards these guys. Edward had spoken of them as his brothers while writing his letters to Bella and that right there meant everything to her. She was going to treat them the way that they deserved until the day that she could see her soldier for her own eyes. Then they would have to take the back burner to her love, Bella snickered to herself.

The others quietly slipped into the darkened room of Jasper's. According to Carlisle, Jasper was having a more difficult time dealing with his injuries and recovery so he generally sat in the darkness and usually alone. Carlisle nudged Bella into the direction of the other room so it was apparently their turn to descend into Emmett's room. Bella was nervous to say the least and followed closely to Carlisle as he currently led the way. She noticed right off that Emmett's place was lit up as bright as the sun and she could hear what she thought was Sportscenter blaring through the tiled hospital room.

"Emmett, I brought you some company for a bit," Carlisle said as he started to pull the curtain back to enter into the room fully.

Bella was shaking by this point and sweating profusely. She rubbed her nasty, balmy hands together and down her jeans thinking he would be disgusted by her display of nervousness. These feelings all went away when she came around the corner and face to face with a wide eyed, dimpled, hulk of a man. He was smiling so broadly that Bella was afraid that Emmett's face might split into two.

"Carlisle, you brought Bella to see me first! Edward will be so pissed off when he finds out," Emmett bellowed as he fist pumped the air with his good arm.

Bella did not know what to think of his reaction but she strode in confidently after that. She bent down by his bed to shake Emmett's massive paw in greeting but he had other ideas than that. Before she knew what was going on, Emmett had grabbed her to him.

"Oh, no you don't, Bella. I'm getting a damn hug," Emmett said as he crushed her to him.

Everyone else in the room were either full on laughing or giggling quietly while Bella sheepishly looked at the ground trying to keep her oncoming, beet red blush at bay.

"Alright, big man. You do not have to crush me to say hello. You've probably pissed off Edward enough with all of this," Bella said while smiling a real smile for the first time since she had shown up at the hospital. She continued on not missing a beat, "I know you know Carlisle but I would like you to meet my mom, Renee' and my friend Rose." Before she could finish Emmett had starting talking again.

"Of course I know Daddy C! He's been around here more that my own Doctors and Nurses." He added with a smile.

While Bella was mouthing "Daddy C" to Carlisle in awe, Rose slipped in the Emmett's world went silent. She had somehow shut the big goof up, Bella noticed and thought to herself.

"Well, I guess you don't have anything else to say?" Rose asked a stunned Emmett.

Emmett stared at her with his previously smiling mouth wide open, kind of like a dying fish Bella thought. The group around laughed at him but shut up quickly after seeing the look that Rose was shooting at them.

"Okay, you big lug, I'll let you off the hook. I'm Rose or actually Rosalie but I'll be hanging out with you to make sure you aren't lonely and shit while we keep Bella from going totally insane waiting to see Edward. Understand?" Rose said to Emmett.

They continued on talking between the two of them while Carlisle, Bella and Renee' stood gawking and feeling a bit uncomfortable with the entire situation going on in front of them.

Bella turned to Carlisle with a sly smile on her face. "Daddy C, huh? Why that's such a lovely name." She giggled while the normally stoic man's ears lit up like Christmas morning.

"Only he can call me that, Bella. Do not even think about telling Charlie about this," Carlisle answered back with the trademark Cullen smirk on his face.

Bella could not help but to laugh out loud at that. The three of them sans Rose found seats around the room and began talking amongst themselves while Rose and Emmett remained immersed into one another.

Bella could not help but to smile at the two of them talking beside the bed. She also could not help that the bitch of jealousy that started to rear her ugly head again, but Bella was able to make that emotion disappear again as quickly as it came on. Or so she thought.

"Sometime soon, honey. You'll get to Edward sometime soon," Renee' said as she leaned over to pat her daughter on the knee.

Bella gave a small smile to her mom and announced that she was going to go out and grab some coffee. She had to get out of there before she broke down again.

"I'll just be a minute, does anyone else want anything?" she asked the surrounding group.

They all told her no and not to worry about it so Bella hurried out of the door. She was lost in her mind when the door to what she assumed to be Jasper's opened and Esme walked out with a glimmering sheen of tears in her eyes. They had not fallen yet but they were very close.

Bella stood still while Esme made her way to her. When Esme reached for her, Bella clung to the woman she also viewed as a mom for dear life.

"What's wrong, Esme? Is Jasper okay? Edward?" Bella kept asking as her anxiety continued rising as she awaited an answer.

Esme finally loosened her grip on Bella and looked into her eyes before she spoke so quietly that Bella almost count not hear her without straining her neck.

"Oh, dear, I'm so sorry. It's just that Jasper has not said a word since we have met him. No matter what we did and he, he," Esme could not carry on without those tears finally flowing down her beautiful face.

The two women walked to the silent waiting room and fell into the uncomfortable chairs where Bella learned that as Emmett is joyful and full of life after all of this, Jasper is his polar opposite. Jasper had not allowed the light or TV to be turned on in his room and had not spoken one word to either Esme or Carlisle at all. Esme went on to explain to Bella that even though he knew who they were, he had just acknowledged them in his room yesterday for the first time. As Esme had began to leave her perch beside his bed, he had grabbed her hand and squeezed. Even though he had not looked at her the entire time Jasper was doing this, Esme knew that he appreciated her company with that one lone movement from him.

"And Bella, as soon as Alice walked into the room, it was as if the world ceased to exist outside of the two of them." Esme continued on animatedly telling her.

She said Jasper's voice was rough from not being used but he had asked us to turn on the light. Esme had to leave the room for fear of upsetting him when Alice had gone over and told him that she would never leave.

"Your dad turned and let himself out to go get a coffee because you know how uncomfortable he gets around emotion. I see you are just like your dad," Esme continued.

There's my friend for you, Bella thought of Alice.

"Well, Rose and Emmett hit it off well, too. So I left mom and Carlisle to sit uncomfortably while watching the two of them." Bella laughed quietly.

About an hour later everyone met back in the waiting room with Bella and Esme who had continued discussing the morning's events. They were still missing Alice, Rose and Jake.

Renee' and Charlie both began at the same time telling the group that Rose was staying with Emmett and Alice was with Jasper. Or at least until someone had the nerve to kick them out of the boys' rooms.

The women giggled about these turn of events and Carlisle turned to Charlie, "Want to head down for some coffee?" he asked.

Charlie answered with the not so uncommon head nod they were all used to.

"We'll look for Jake down there, too," Carlisle told Bella.

After the men left, Bella fell asleep in bother mom and Esme's arms. For Bella it was thankfully a dreamless sleep.

When Bella was becoming conscious again, she realized that the sun was gone for another day and her mom and Esme had moved to the other side of the room.

"Do you think she will be okay?" Esme aske Renee'.

"Don't worry about Bella. She will be fine when she can see Edward for herself," Renee' answered confidently.

They continue to discuss her as if they were discussing the weather and Bella tried to not be aggravated by this. She pretended to wake up by yawning and stretching loudly enough so the two gossiping women in the corner knew to shut the hell up.

Luckily, for them, they noticed.

"Bella, honey, the girls are going to stay with the guys for awhile. Why don't we go on back to the hotel to get some rest?" Renee' asked gently.

"The guys have already gone back but we did not want to wake you. Would you like to get something to eat, dear? You missed lunch and dinner." Esme added.

What they did not realize was that Bella had not eaten all day. She did not think she could handle the food offer so she told them that she would go to the vending machines in a bit.

"I'm just going to stay here again tonight in case Alice or Rose need me," Bella told the two older women.

Renee' did not like it at all but she knew not to choose this as a battle with her head strong and stubborn like her father, daughter.

"Okay, dear. You have our numbers so you call us if you need to." Esme answered solemnly.

The two women hugged Bella goodbye and left without another word. Bella realized that she was alone. Again. The loneliness was killing her, worse than the damn chairs she thought to herself.

She proceeded to cover herself with some God awful green, Army blanket and tried to will herself to sleep. The last coherent thought that she had was that the blankets were too fucking scratchy but little did she know that this was actually Edward's blanket and Esme had asked his doctor for it a few hours before she had left.

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**Thanks again for reading! Have a great week!**

**Jen**


	18. Chapter 18

**We're at the end of what I have pre-written again. I'm hoping to stick to the one week schedule but I don't know if I'll be able to. We're also getting closer to their reunion, like hopefully next chapter type closer, but you know how characters have a mind of their own sometimes. I hope you're still enjoying. Thanks to those who have been reviewing and thanks to those who continue reading. Enjoy...**

**Disclaimer: Again, I don't own this but S.M. does. **

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**Chapter 18**

A few weeks had passed by for everyone in a blur.

Everyone that is, except for Bella.

A few days prior Carlisle had pulled Bella aside and explained to her that they were still not happy with Edward's rate of healing on his most serious wounds. He explained in his own way that while the grafts they had completed had taken to the healing skin but the resident doctors felt as if he would still see more benefit from remaining in a coma versus being awake due to the toll the excruciating pain would more than certainly wreak havoc on his still healing body.

This was the second time they had pushed "The" day back.

This was the third time Bella's heart had been broken since she had received the initial phone call from Esme and Carlisle.

The first time they pushed it back, Carlisle had to sedate Bella to get her to calm down. She vowed to herself that it would not be like that ever again. She could not lose control of her body and mind that severely if she ever wanted to be allowed to go to Edward when the time was to come. Rose had pushed and reminded Bella that she had to be strong and for once Bella thought that she had the strength to do so because she knew there was nothing more that she wanted than for Edward to get better.

Bella had not seen much of the girls as they had taken up permanent residence with Emmett and Jasper. She could not begrudge them the happiness that they had found but the jealousy and hurt from not being able to see Edward was pushing her further and further away from everyone and everything surrounding her. She was relying on the others being so interested in what all was going on all around them so that they would not see that she was a mess herself. She was not sleeping and she certainly was not eating right and that did not bode well with her. Bella knew it was not healthy for her to do this but felt helpless to fight it off.

Jake could see the toll the whole situation was taking on Bella. She was so gaunt and thin that she had become almost unrecognizable with her overly pale skin and dark bruises that had found permanent residence beneath her eyes. He could not figure out why no one else had noticed and why they had said or done nothing about it. He could understand why Mr. and Mrs. Cullen had not because they were running around trying to take of Emmett and Jasper since they could not even take care of their own son but what about Bella's parents, he thought to himself while he surveyed the room.

Rose and Alice were with the guys at their therapy sessions most days and from what Jake had heard, the guys were doing remarkably well and may get to head back to Boston soon to resume therapy there. He knew that the girls would head back with them more than likely and he was ready to stay here for Bella if he needed to. He knew in his heart it was the right thing to do for his friend. Most days you could find Jake watching Sports Center with Emmett while Rose would take a break to go sit with Bella for awhile. Bella on the other hand rarely left the comforts of her green blanket and the waiting room if she could help it. She relied and held to the fact that they could call her about Edward at any time.

"Bells, why don't we go down and grab a bite to eat and maybe go see the sun for a minute?" Jake had asked her.

She did not respond so Jake asked her again.

"Stop it." Bella responded despondently from her perch in the waiting room chair.

"Stop what, Bella? Stop eating? Stop Sleeping? Stop Caring? Like you? What do you want me to stop?" Jake went on.

He knew it was wrong but someone had to do something, say something to get some sort of response out of Bella. Jake just happened to be the one to do so while they were left alone in the waiting room again.

"Fuck you, Jake! What the hell do you know about me and how I feel? You live in a world where you know where the love of your life is but you're too fucking scared to go to her! I can't even go see mine to see with my own eyes that he's even still alive! What I wouldn't give to have your fucking options, you selfish asshole!" Bella screamed to a stunned Jake.

Bella waited with bated breath for an angry response from Jake but it never came. She knew it was a low blow to mention Leah but did not care at that point. Finally, after a few long minutes of utter and palpable silence, Jake began to move. He did not leave as Bella had imagined he would but he came to her lifting her like a ragdoll and placed her on his lap. She felt like a child but Bella did not care as she shoved her face into his chast and wailed as he held her tightly.

"You have got to get yourself strong, Bells. Edward is going to need you when it is all said and done. You need to eat and that's where you're going to start once we clean the snot off of me and your nasty ass face," Jake said calmly with a small smile on his face.

Both Jake and Bella remained in contemplative silence while they thought about the statements the other one had said. With trepidation in her eyes, Bella stood from Jake's embrace and held her hand out for her friend to take. They did not speak the entire ride from Edward's floor to the cafeteria but Jake could see the change in his friend's eyes. She would do this to stay strong for Edward whether she liked it or not.

When the friends arrived to the cafeteria, they saw Carlisle, Esme, Charlie and Renee' sitting in the far corner away from everyone else it seemed. Bella decided for once that she knew what she had to do to help and that started by eating for the first time in what truly felt like forever to her. After both had ordered and paid for their meals, they joined the parents and adoptive parents at their tables.

Renee' gave Bella the once over and smiled at Jake as she realized that he was part of the reason her little girl was eating. Charlie grunted in greeting to his daughter and Bella just laughed again because she understood that was her dad.

Carlisle eventually spoke up," Bella, I know it is not really my place to say anything but you do need to go to the hotel room and get some good rest. I say this because you are like my own daughter and I cannot stand to see you this way."

Bella sat for a moment contemplating her response and let out a breath of finality before she spoke. "I will but you have to promise to call me if anything changes. You promise me that and I will."

"Will what?" Bella heard from the door to the cafeteria. She was taken aback when she realized it had come from Rose who apparently had drug everyone else downstairs for food.

Bella dropped the french fry she had been holding to her mouth and ran to both Rose and Alice, grabbing them fiercely for a hug. Alice's tinkling laughter rang through the entire seating area.

"Welcome back, Bella," Alice whispered.

"We're on a field trip, Bella! Can you believe it?" Bella heard Emmett say from his over sized wheelchair.

"Rosie wouldn't let me come without it so I guess I'm in my own chair for awhile longer," Emmett replied to the shocked look on Bella's face.

Bella then came face to face with a smiling Jasper or who she assumed was Jasper since she had never truly met him.

"Hello mam'. I am going to assume you are the famed and lovely Bella that Edward droned on and on and on," Jasper came to an abrupt stop after Alice slapped his shoulder.

"Shit Alice! That hurt!" Jasper grunted out towards the little pixie.

Alice smiled sweetly down at Jasper and blew raspberries at the man.

Bella did not know what to think looking at her two best girlfriends and the happiness that had arose for them from such a tragedy.

"That would be me and you must be Jasper. I'm sorry that I haven't been able to get in there to meet you but Alice has kind of been monopolizing your time," Bella said in jest while she smiled at her friends who now surrounded her.

After the rest of the group joined the table with their food, loud discussions were coming from every direction. Bella was happy to see the smiles and laughter on her friends' faces, new and old, but she really missed Edward. She could not wait to touch his face, hold his hand, see him smile and finally tell him she loved him in person.

She was drug from her daydream by her dad who had begun speaking to her at some point.

"Bells, hon, you know we are leaving tomorrow, right? We both have to get back to work before they fire us and we have to come live with you," Charlie said.

"I know dad. I'm just happy and thankful you've gotten to stay this long with me," Bella answered while hugging Charlie around his waist.

Bella looked down at her now almost empty plate and punched Jake in the arm. She smiled at him and played a brunette Vanna White while showing him her plate.

"I know Bells. Thank you for doing that," Jake said while giving his little friend a noogie.

Everyone around the table erupted into laughter at the two friends. Carlisle was the first to clear his throat to the group.

"Well, since we are all here, including Emmett and Jasper, we have some good news for Edward. They are going to stop his medication that is keeping him under and in a coma and while that means he will be waking up, we should get to see him in a couple of days," Carlisle said while holding onto a teary eyed Esme.

Emmett was the first to break the prolonged silence," That's great Daddy C! I for one can't wait to see my boy. What about you, Jazz?"

"Yeah man. It will be great to have the three of us back together. I'm not sure what I would have done if, if" Jasper responded and realized that he could not continue.

Alice who was seated next to Jasper's wheelchair clung to his hand and ran her free hand through the back of his hair whispering to him.

Bella could not hold the dam any longer on her tears. She did not feel guilty at all for crying because everyone around the table were wiping their eyes.

From Bella's understanding, Jasper may never walk again due to the paralysis but he had gained control of more of his body than what they ever thought he would. He emotionally was getting stronger from the help of Alice and his new found family. For that Bella said a little prayer of thanks to whomever was listening to her. She tried not to get overly excited about the prospect of seeing Edward but she was beginning to resemble Alice on a caffeine high the way she was bouncing in her chair.

"Bella, you will be allowed into the room as family. I've pulled some strings but that is dependent on you going back and resting at the hotel," Carlisle said directly to her.

Bella laughed and began picking her things up off of the table.

"Let's go then. If that's what it takes to see him, then get me to the hotel and I'll go to sleep. Mom, Dad, are you coming on back? You promised you would call if anything changed and I'll hold you all to that. Guys, I'll see you soon. It was great to meet you Jasper. Let's go," Bella said excitedly with a smile on her face.

Bella could not help but think that this may be the new day she had been looking for and it all pointed back to getting to see her bronze haired boy.

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**Quick note: Thankfully Bella seems to be over her "oh, woe es me" issues and will continue to grow stronger after this chapter. Thank heavens!**

**Jen**


	19. Chapter 19

**Wow, what can I say, it has been forever. For that I am sorry but RL has all but kicked my ass and then some. Thank you if you are continuing to read this. I can only hope you are still enjoying the story after all of this time. **

**I do not own the characters, S.M. does but I do own a 4 year old who broke her nose on the first of day of Kindergarten this past week and ended up in the ER getting glued together and not at school...**

**Review and let me know what you think!**

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Chapter 19

The day began as quickly as the night had ended for Bella. She had no idea that she had been that exhausted. Bella rolled over in her green blanket that she had not been without since the night that Esme had gifted her with it and looked throughout the curtains to the sun that was trying to peek through to greet her. This brought on a genuine smile to her face for the first time in eternity, she thought.

After Bella's shower and five minute beauty routine, she called her parents and met them downstairs in the lobby before they took off towards their home.

"I want you to call us when he wakes up, baby girl. Are you okay? Are you sure you don't want me to stay a little while longer? I know you will be fine but I could always stay while your dad goes back. What do you say?" Renee' bombarded Bella with questions before the two could even say hello.

"Renee', give the girl a break on the questions. She just woke up and you just fried her brain the matter of a minute," Charlie chortles while Renee' roughly smacks his arm.

Bella laughs while Charlie rubs out the bruised spot. She then assures her mom that she is in fact fine and that there is no need for them to stay unless they truly felt the need to.

"I promise mom. I will call you as soon as I can after they wake him," Bella says as she shares a watery smile with her parents.

As they turned to go, Charlie and Renee' both gave Bella a hug and kiss. While Renee' was sobbing very loudly, Charlie's mustache twitched and Bella knew that he was regretting them having to leave as well.

Bella cannot help but feel sad and possibly relieved at the same time regarding her parents departure. Relieved because today was the day and sad because she did not know when she would get to spend time with them again. More and more she questioned her motives from living so far away from them but she knew that she could never possibly be away from Edward again.

"Nope," quietly speaking out loud, "never again".

As Bella turned on her heals to have a seat while waiting on Carlisle to give her a ride to the hospital she caught a glimpse of the happy couple walking arm in arm down the hallway. She did not want to blatantly stare but it was a hard sight to tear her eyes away from. The love that was radiating between Carlisle and Esme was palpable and Bella felt that twinge of jealousy b efore the happiness because hopefully soon she and Edward would be in a delicate bubble of bliss they could call their own.

Bella could only dare to hope.

Carlisle was the first to notice her standing there on her own.

"Hello, dear. Are we ready to get going to see our boy?" Carlisle all but shouted as he hurried to hug Bella into the arms that had just been occupied by his beaming wife.

"Yes, I do believe we are," Bella responded in kind as Esme joined their embrace.

Normall this attention they were drawing from the brunch crew would have made her blush to no end but nothing could take away from the feeling of joy that seemed to be emanating from the small group.

They eventually broke apart and the three of them walked hand in hand to the valet would eventually retrieve Carlisle's car.

"Hey, Carlisle?" Bella asked.

"Yes?" Carlisle looked at her perplexed because she had not completely finished her question. He turned to find her chewing her bottom lip presumably contemplating her question.

"I know this may sound stupid but what do you think Edward will want first? Food or to go to take a shit?" Bella finished with a smile on her face. The three of them found themselves laughing hysterically at the absurdity of the question all the while tears were running down their faces because they all three secretly harbored the fear that he would do neither again.

Once all was calm, Esme replied, "Well, I'm going to bet my money he will want to eat first and as you so delicately put it, shit later."

Once again all seemed to be looking up in Bella's world as they piled into the car and headed towars what she could only think of as her past, present and future.

"I've been keeping up with all of the papers while at the hotel. Have you heard anything about the disappearances occurring back home? I mean in Boston?" Carlisle asked the car.

Both women had no idea what he was referring to.

"We'll just need to be extra careful when we head back with Edward. It looks like they are only targeting women at this point but I want to take no chances with any of you all. Oh, Bella did Esme tell you we may be moving to your area soon? Of course not because it was to be a surprise but we are taking a type of leave so that we can be near if Edward needs us." Carlisle supplied.

As they continued on, Bella and Esme quietly discussed how terrible the disappearances were and that they hoped and prayed it did not continue on any further.

Bella realized it was not much further to the hospital and the adrenaline began coursing through her.

"Look at her Carlisle, she is about to bounce right off of her seat. Maybe we should take a drive up north of the city so that she can calm down a bit," Esme said jokingly.

Bella glared at the both of them and then burst out crying. Her felt so full but yest so light. She could not help the emotions that were determined to burst out of her.

Carlisle and Esme gave her a concerned look.

"Happy tears," Bella sniffled out. "These are happy tears, please don't worry about the crazy sitting here."

The rest of the ride continued in silence. As they were getting out of Carlisle's car all three of them had thrown contemplative glances towards the entrance.

"No matter what happens again today girls, we're here. That is all that matters. Just remember he has been through a hell of a lot to put it mildly and may still be in a tremendous amount of pain. We just need to show Edward how much we love him and show him that we are here no matter what," Carlisle stated almost if he was trying to remind himself of what they were supposed to do.

The three of them, the makeshift family, continued on through the entrance way to a place that they all unfortunately knew by heart.

"I'm going to go on up to the waiting area," Bella said as she noticed Esme heading to retrieve her well deserved coffee.

"No worries, honey. I am going to check in with some of the local doctors and then we'll be on up in a little bit," Carlisle answered while glancing at his watch. "They won't be starting the reawaking period for a little while longer".

As they went their separate ways Bella could not help but to think of her three best friends that came along with her. She chuckled when she realized she now included Jake into that group as well. She had not spent a lot of time with them recently and secretly prayed she would see them today as she took her well worn seat in the family waiting area. As she broke out her now well worn green blanket and a new magazine Esme had bought her, she heard a familiar tinkling laughter reverberate off of the walls in the hallway.

This laughter was followed by a loud guffaw from Jake. As Alice rounded the corner with Rose and Jake in tow she took notice to Bella in the corner and ran the rest of the way only jumping at the last chance into Bella's awaiting arms with an "umph".

"Oh my brown haired beauty, I have missed you so!" Alice proclaimed while she placed wet kisses all over Bella's head and now beat red face.

"That's enough Shorty, if you keep going Bella is going to need a towel to wipe off all of your freaking spit," Jake laughed as he lifted Alice off of Bella's lap.

"Shut it, Gigantor! Just because I do not greet you in this manner is no reason to be jealous, honey!" Alice replied as she beat her fist against his arm that was the size of her tiny waist.

Bella could not help but giggle as she watched everyone gather around her to wait it out.

"Where are Jasper and Emmett?" Bella asked.

"Emmett is getting his ass handed to him in PT and Jazz is taking a nap, right Al?" Rose responded.

Alice nodded her head and unlike her entrance, quietly spoke," We kind of wanted to be here for you today."

Bella dipped her head in thanks knowing that if she dared to look at them the tears would fall down her already raw face.

Jake had become abnormally quiet, again. Bella could not put her finger on as to why but the thoughts and conversation of that long ago drunken night came to mind. She would never say anything with the others in the room to break his trust but she knew she would corner him soon about Leah.

As everyone got into their favorite chairs for the long hall, they all turned to the rustling in the doorway. Esme and Carlisle had finally made it upstairs but Bella was the only one privy to the fact that the good doctor and his missus had just been caught by her making out like teenagers in the doorway.

Carlisle cleared his throat and straightened his shirt while Esme slyly winked at Bella. "Well kids it is getting ready to be time. They are prepping everyone and then they will retrieve us to begin," Carlisle continued fussing with his shirt awkwardly.

Jake gradually stood asking if anyone needing anything from the cafeteria. He had become a frequent member of those who drank their coffee alone in the corner table. He knew Bella had caught him earlier thinking about Leah but what could he say. As he

headed down he could not help but to worry over the decisions he and Leah had made to end up where they were after watching Bella love Edward without ever getting to truly tell him and he completely regretting never dragging Leah home. As he sat in his corner with his now untouched and cold coffee. Jake could not ignore the lists of regrets forming in his mind.

The move from Germany to D.C. had come much easier to Leah than she could have ever imagined. She had only been in the D.C. area for a month but had requested to return to work as soon as she could. She could not handle the down time alone. Leah had seen too much and done too many things to ever really be the same again. It was a feeling many military doctors and nurse knew all too well.

To say she was surprised about the option to move back to the states was an understatement. Leah startled herself when she found her thin hand reaching for her phone to dial a long forgotten number when she had first heard the news. She wanted to call Jake and to hear the surprise in his voice about her coming home but she forfeited that right when she left him. Leah found that her thoughts stayed on Jake in times of weakness because he was always her rock and her strength.

Shaking her thoughts away for the thousandths time, Leah was excited to initially find out that she was to care for one of the soldiers that she had initially fought to save in Germany. She prayed as she often does for the soldier and his family. Leah worried about the months ahead for him and the therapies that he would have to endure and continued to pray that he would awaken from his coma easily. She did this as she made her way to the cafeteria for what she had found was the nastiest cup of energy giving, life force, coffee that she had ever had. That was saying something because she ahd been in some bad places over the years where the cup of joe resembled sludge.

Bella was reading and re-reading the same page of her magazine while worrying over her bottom lip. Carlisle had stepped outside a few moments before when a doctor had come in looking for him.

"Okay guys, it is just about time. I'm sorry girls but I could only work it out to where myself, Esme and Bella could visit with him. His chance of infection from the burns are almost non existent but there are still precautions that need to be taken," Carlisle explained while taking a seat by Esme.

Bella was ecstatic and began looking for Jake. She remembered he had gone downstairs so she texted him to get his ass upstairs as soon as he could or he would miss it. Bella knew he was having a tough time and secluding himself would not help.

If Jake knew his friend he knew as soon as he received her text that he needed to get a move on because if not she would send the pixie and the princess to drag him back by his balls. He chucked his untouched coffee in the trash can and took off for Edward's floor.

He could only pray that this was the answer that Bella and Edward's family were looking for.

Leah glanced at her watch and realized that she did not have a lot of time to waste when she finally made it to the cafeteria. She had about ten minutes to get the shit coffee and back up to her floor to the soldier's room. Stupid fucking elevators she mumbled to herself. They had faster ones at the hospital in Germany that she had come from and it was a hell of a lot older hospital than this. Leah was so lost in her thoughts and did not notice as the love of her life slid out the other door.

Everyone had reconvened in the family area including a now awake Jasper and a very sore but joyous Emmett. They were all sitting with bated breath and concerns of their own that they would never share out loud. As they heard steps come down the hall, all eight heads turned towards the door with different expectations.

Edwards's doctor, decked out in his fatigues and white lab coat was standing in the doorway and began to speak, "It's that time,".


End file.
